Page 97 of Crash Course

“I’m going after this, Jamie,” he says with an edge I’ve never heard. “You’ve pulled punches in the past. Don’t this time. Because I’m not going to.”

29

Shay

“Here we go!” Raj rubs his hands together with anticipation.

My friends and classmates line the fence at the pit wall.

The crowd filling the seats around the track is amped for a spectacle, plenty of Ashford Racing flags and gear proudly displayed, along with some other teams.

I watch Jameson get in the cockpit on the monitors—he’s frustrated.

Last night with Jameson was like a fever dream. I’m still shivering twelve hours later, still thinking about how good it felt just to feel. His body. His intensity. His knowing what I wanted even if the words were slow to come.

Except…

When I pushed him, he dug in his heels.

It’s a reminder that attraction is one thing and real connection is something else. This is why cars are so much easier than people, why trusting is a mistake.

I shouldn’t have been so quick to forgive the way he ran into me the first day of class, how cold and ruthless he was after. Would he ever give a shit about people like my dad and me if it wasn’t for the way we were pushed together at school, the fact that our paths crossed, forcing him to pay attention to me?

My fingers clench on the railing as the cars line up in order. Theo and Jameson are side by side on the front row, Theo a few inches behind.

Luca’s rules kept it simple: Finish order of the last race sets the next grid. No extra qualifying, no reset.

Theo’s pulling on his helmet, adjusting his position in the car as the mechanics take off his tire covers. Radar says the rain we anticipated might hold off. If that’s true, the dry tires will hold up and be fast and safe.

If it’s not…

I send up a prayer as the drivers take a formation lap. I watch from the monitors in the garage until they return to the start.

Megan squeezes my hand. When she got back last night and found me curled up in bed, the covers pulled around my ears as I stared holes in the wall, she cursed.

“Let me guess. Jameson?”

I didn’t answer.

“I will end him…”

I grabbed her arm before she could make it to the door. “I’m fine,” I said. “Let’s put on a movie, okay? No cars.”

This weekend is about more than me and the messiness of my love life, especially as the three of us are supposed to be a team. But I felt her worried gaze for the rest of the night.

Now, I rip my attention from her and back to the red lights counting upward. The dreams of every person on this track, everyone here in the garages, ride on the cars and drivers out on the grid.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Lights out.