Page 7 of Yours Truly

The next day I was on the hospital floor, in between patients, when my cell phone rang. It was my older sister Jewel. I stared at the incoming call with a resigned sense of dread.

I was going to deal with the shock wave of this news in layers. My own feelings about it, and then everyone else’s, dumped on me like ice water over and over until I was drenched in it.

I slipped into a supply closet and hit the Answer button.

“Jewel.”

“It’s total bullshit,” she said. “I’m not going, just so you know. Fuck them both.”

“Fuck them both!” her wife, Gwen, parroted from the background.

I rubbed my forehead tiredly. “Gwen, it’s fine.”

“It’s okay to not be fine, Jacob.” Mom’s voice.

“I’m not going either,” a fourth called out. My other older sister, Jill.

“Me either!” The youngest, Jane.

Amy and Jeremiah must have told my family together.

“Your father’s here,” Mom said.

“Jacob, I’m here if you want to talk,” Dad said from somewhere farther away than the women.

He’d probably been roped into this phone call. Dramatic declarations weren’t really his style.

“They’ve made their bed,” Jewel said. “No one from this family is going to be there.”

“I will be there. I’m happy for them,” I lied. “And I intend to fully support them,” I said honestly. “And I hope you will too.”

They gasped indignantly in unison. “How can you possibly be okay with this?” Jewel asked. “They started dating less than three months after you two broke up. It’s disgusting.”

“It’s fucked up, man.” Walter, Jill’s husband.

The whole gang. Perfect.

I sat on a box of toilet paper. “I’m really okay,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose.

“You are not okay,” Gwen insisted. “They’re assholes! How can they expect you to be there? How can they expect any of us to be there?”

“I don’t think they expect anything,” I said wearily. “But you not supporting it isn’t going to change it. As long as they want me there, I’m going to the wedding. Even if you’re not.”

“Jacob,” Mom said carefully, “you have always been the diplomatic one. I love that about you, but you do not need to put yourself through this. It’s fine to set boundaries.”

“Mom, I’m really okay. I’m over it. I’ve moved on.”

“Moved on how?” Jewel said. “You haven’t gone on a single date since she left.”

Jill whispered in the background, “Maybe he’s finding himself. He doesn’t need to date to move on—”

“Yes, he does!” Jewel hissed. “If he’s not having sex with someone else, then he’s still obsessed with her—”

“We don’t know that he’s not having sex,” Mom said. “Just because he hasn’t brought anyone home doesn’t mean he’s not having intercourse—Jacob? While I think rediscovering your sexuality after a split can be wonderful for your self-esteem, risky sexual behavior is more common after a traumatic breakup. If you’re having intercourse, you are using protection, right? Now you know how I feel about coconut oil as a lubricant, it’s very healing for the vagina but it does cause condoms to break—”

“What about grape-seed oil?” Dad asked from somewhere far off. “Does that do the condom thing? I like the grape-seed oil. Silky.”

“Okay, can we not?” Jewel said.