Page 7 of New Beginning

“I know,” Mikkel said. “I’ll be careful.”

Mikkel couldn’t die but he knew how dangerous The Drift could be, how it ate away at you until there was little left, and sometimes so little remained there was no chance of return. There was no time to lose. Once Teddy met those other lost souls, pulling him back would be much harder.

He let his consciousness slip sideways, shifting out of the physical weight of his sitting room, out of his body, following the thread that Azrael had given him, and a short while later, he stepped into the raw expanse of The Drift. For Mikkel, the sky was a bruised, static-heavy purple, the ground under his feet black and much of it aflame. The Drift was a psychological storm, a world created from shattered fragments of perception. He knew it would be different for Teddy, but Mikkel had the power to enter Teddy’s world.

Within moments, the echo of twisted metal screeched through the air, followed by the deafening and horrific crunch of a collision, then metal grinding again. The sound looped incessantly, a nightmare playing on an endless, violent repeat. As he drew closer to Teddy, he saw ghostly shadows of wrecked vehicles and shattered glass suspended in the air. Beyond the screaming metal, he heard a screaming human.

The flames fell away as Mikkel walked on. The sky turned grey. Dust formed under his feet. He found the young man frantically trying to wash his hands in a non-existent pool of water.

“It won’t come off,” Teddy sobbed, his voice hoarse. “I shouldn’t have been driving. I should have stopped. I should have seen the other car sooner. It was my fault. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Mikkel could see a dark, oily mist wrapped around Teddy’s throat. He walked forward and sat down next to him. Teddy gasped, widened his eyes when he saw him, and stopped trying to wash invisible blood from his hands. Mikkel knew he looked frightening. He had no choice but to assume his natural form in The Drift. Tall, heavily muscled with sharp curled horns, a tail, impossibly golden eyes and skin a medium shade of scarlet. He much preferred the human form he used in Sparlow.

He didn’t have to wait long to see what Teddy would do. He leapt to his feet and ran. A crack formed ahead of him and Mikkel just managed to catch his arm before he could leap into it. He pulled him down to sit beside him, took hold of his hand and didn’t let go.

“Sweetheart, there’s no point throwing yourself in there. You can’t die again. You’re already dead.”

He could feel Teddy trembling, see him shaking. “I’m dead?”

“Yes.”

“Is…this hell? Of course it is. It’s where I belong.”

“No. It’s not hell. But no doubt hell for you,” Mikkel said softly. “I know about your three friends. I know about the family in the other vehicle. And I know you’re trying to kill yourself out of guilt for something you didn’t do.”

“But I did,” Teddy screamed and pulled free of Mikkel’s hold. “I was driving. I killed all of them. It was too foggy. I should have pulled over. I was trying to follow the white lines. I wasn’t going fast, but they all died. If I’m dead, and this isn’t hell, then where is it? Why am I here and they’re not?”

The black mist around Teddy flared, lashing out towards the crack in the earth. The Drift was trying to drag him down, and it would keep doing that over and over again while Teddy was in this state of raw panic.

Mikkel grabbed him by the wrist. “Look at me.”

He could feel how frantically Teddy’s mind was racing. But once their eyes locked, Teddy didn’t look away. He had beautiful blue eyes with long, thick dark lashes. Except those eyes were full of pain.

“This is not the place for you,” Mikkel said quietly. “The Drift is torturing you. And you’re more than letting it. You’re encouraging it, inventing ways for it to hurt you. You cannot die when you’re already dead.”

Teddy gasped, his chest heaving as the black mist around his throat hesitated, wavering under the sudden weight of Mikkel’s words.

“Don’t give in to it. It’s important to remember those who died. You will always cherish memories of your friends. Remembering will hurt, but you can carry those memories back into the light. Step by step. First, you need to step into the light. Will you let me help you stand up?”

Teddy nodded. A long, agonising sob broke from his chest, one of release more than fear, though he was still afraid. Of me? Mikkel didn’t think so. The black mist floated away, back into the hole in the ground.

“I’m scared,” Teddy whispered, his shoulders collapsing forward as he stood.

Mikkel wrapped his arms around him. Teddy didn’t try to pull away and the sound of the accident receded. Signs that Teddy was trusting him.

“My name is Mikkel. Will you come with me, Teddy? Will you accept my help?”

“Yes. Please. I’m sorry for running away. Thank you.”

And Mikkel’s black heart felt a little warmer.

“We need to walk back. Don’t be afraid. I’ll be right next to you.” Mikkel released his hold and was startled when Teddy took his hand again.

“Did I walk in the wrong direction?”

“In a way.” Mikkel matched his pace to Teddy’s. He was thrilled to have Teddy’s hand in his.

“I couldn’t see any other way to go once I came out of the fog.”