Page 8 of New Beginning

“That was because your mind wasn’t letting you see another way.”

Teddy sighed. “You’re a demon, right? Those horns. The colour of your skin. Your tail.” He gulped. “Sorry. I know better than to judge by appearances.”

“It’s a fair assumption. Yes, I’m a demon.”

“And you’re taking me to hell. That’s fine. I deserve to be in hell. It was all my fault.”

The sound of the crash returned and Mikkel mentally groaned.

“No,” he said firmly.

Teddy flinched.

“You need to stop doing that.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Yes, you are. Every time you tell yourself that you deserve hell, The Drift hears you. Every time you repeat that the deaths were your fault, it feeds you the same memory.”

“But they died.”

“I know.”

“And I was driving.”

“I know that too.”

“Then—”

“If you made a mistake.” Mikkel stopped walking and turned to face him, still holding Teddy’s hand, “that is not the same thing as wanting them dead.”

Teddy stared at him.

“The fog was bad. You were driving slowly. You were trying to follow the road. You made a decision that, in hindsight, you wish you hadn’t made. That doesn't make you a killer.”

“I should have stopped.”

“Perhaps.”

The single word seemed to strike harder than any denial could have.

Mikkel softened his voice. “But hindsight is a cruel judge. It knows everything that happened. You don’t.”

Teddy looked down. “I keep thinking if I’d stopped for five minutes, they’d still be alive.”

“Maybe.”

Teddy’s face crumpled.

“But you could spend eternity imagining every possible version of that night,” Mikkel continued, “a few seconds spent there, a few more somewhere else but nothing will change what happened. You cannot punish yourself into a different past.”

The sound of the crash came again.

Mikkel stepped closer. “Teddy. Look at me.”

Teddy raised his eyes.

“Listen to the sound.”