Page 32 of Thin Ice

She bounces and launches herself at me, soft curves nearly bowling me over. I chuckle, lighter despite all the heavy shit still weighing us down.

“That’s what I like to see!”

Quinn pulls back, and we both find Hazel standing in the now open gate, smiling at us.

“Come on in; we’re about to get started!”

I place my hand on Quinn’s lower back, grounding myself before seeing Beck again alongside strangers. Nobody was in the gym when I used it yesterday, and the only other person I’ve met is Hazel. I’m not an unamiable person, but I don’t spend a lot of time making friends with strangers.

This whole situation is about to be awkward as fuck, but Quinn smiles at me with hope and that beautiful excitement in her eyes, and I know I’ve made the right choice—the only choice.

Once we’re through the gate, I immediately question my last thought. The heads of five couples turn toward us, a mix of ages and genders. They’re all seated in a semi-circle in front of a group of people who I’m assuming are the mentors because Beck is with them, the ghost of my past staring directly at me and Quinn.

“I hope you both had a good night’s sleep?” Hazel asks, drawing my attention to her. Beck’s focus remains on the side of my head, but I do my best to ignore it. I’m going to have to get used to his attention on me and my wife.

“It was good,” Quinn answers.

“Good, good. Why don’t you go grab the last two chairs next to Josie and Phil?”

She points to the chairs next to a blonde woman and a guy who looks like a Phil—a little round in the belly area and wearing a button-up shirt despite the heat. He’s balding, and his salt-and-pepper goatee is cleanly shaved.

The pair waves at us, and I gently guide Quinn to our seats, nodding at the other couples we walk past to get to the chairs that just so happen to be directly in the middle of the semi-circle.

Once we’re seated, Hazel wastes no time standing in front of the group. Today, she’s wearing a long white skirt and blue top with puffed sleeves, the bangles jingling on her wrists as she claps her hands and smiles.

“Welcome to the first official day of Reignite. I’m so happy to have all of you here with us, some new and some returning!”

A few of the couples clap, and I note one guy who looks like he’d rather be at the dentist than seated next to who I’m assuming is his husband given the way the guy glares back at him in annoyance.

Hazel continues. “This week is packed with exercises and activities to reignite passion and connection or to strengthen bonds you have put in place already. It’s about honesty and love, intimacy and joy.

“I invite all of you to give everything you have, even when it might be difficult, to fully immerse yourself in the experience, and to be open to everything you see, smell, hear, touch, and taste with your partner. To be open and really listen to your mentors. They are here to help you, to guide you, to be your friend. With that being said, I’d like to go over some basic rules.”

Quinn places her hand on my thigh while Hazel reiterates the rules I read when I looked over the schedule. She speaks of consent, how important clear communication is. If there’s something we don’t want to do, we can say no, and if at any time we think a mentor has crossed one of our boundaries, we’re encouraged to use a safe word that we’ll pick with them during our first session.

Quinn smiles when I set my hand over hers. A light breeze passes over us, rustling her hair. The urge to lean forward and kiss her tugs at my gut, but now is not the time. I want her to know I’m in this and that I’m paying attention, so I focus on Hazel.

“Does anyone have any questions?” Hazel asks. A few people do, and she answers them easily. The whole time, I manage not to look at Beck, but I feel his eyes on me and Quinn more than they should be.

I wonder what’s running through his head and why he didn’t walk away from all this. And why did he bring our breakfast this morning? It’s obvious he knew I was here before he knocked. I would have thought that after the way we left things, he’d be the last to seek me out, even if this is an odd situation.

“Okay, how about you start, Noah?”

My eyes refocus, and I see Hazel staring at me. She must have asked me a question.

The woman takes pity on me and repeats herself. “We’re going around and sharing our names, where we’re from, and what we hope to get out of the week here. It doesn’t have to be long; just share the first thing that comes to your heart.”

Fucking great. I usually thrive under pressure, under the attention of others. It’s one of the many reasons I’m so good at hockey. But I hate this type of thing. I was never a great student—I had to fight for all the straight A’s my dad demanded. Beck often tutored me late into the night on math and science, my two worst subjects.

I find said man’s milky chocolate gaze. It’s not intense or angry like before but reassuring. It’s the exact look he’d give me during those tutoring sessions when I’d panic if I didn’t know the answer.

He mouths the word breathe, and I do what he says, the air in my lungs immediately calming me. I want to be mad at him for knowing that would work, but I can’t be. Not when he saved me from having a panic attack in front of strangers.

Quinn squeezes her hand still on my thigh. Her reassuring smile is much like Beck’s, and I bask in the easy energy she always manages to find, even in times like these.

I can do this.

With another breath, I wet my lips. “My name is Noah, I live in Seattle, and…” I gather what I want to say, knowing that it can’t be dumb, robotic, or snide. I promised Quinn and myself I’d try, more than once now. “I want to learn how to be a better partner, a better husband. I want to learn to pay attention and give my wife the life she deserves, the one I promised her we’d have together.”