Page 90 of A Flawed Scotsman

“What is it?” Ruari gave him what he hoped was an obvious look to leave him be.

Oblivious, Ewan pulled a chair out, turned it around and straddled it. “Ye’re running scared.”

What Ruari wanted right now was to hit his cousin. “Says the man who has yet to be honest about why he is really here.”

The barb hit, because Ewan physically flinched. But he was not dissuaded from the conversation. “Ye are in love with yer wife and are running scared from it. Do not sit there and pretend ye are content to return to this.” Ewan swept his hand across the air in the meager room. “She did not wish to stay behind, but ye forced her because ye’re a coward.”

Ruari shoved the table aside with so much force, it crashed against the wall and flopped onto its side.

When he threw himself at Ewan, his cousin was prepared and fled out the door, laughing. Enraged, Ruari gave chase.

The surroundings turned red and he growled in frustration, unable to catch up with Ewan who was lithe and fast. Finally, when Ewan turned to avoid crashing with a maid hauling a bucket, Ruari was able to tackle him to the ground.

Ewan hit first, the fist to Ruari’s face sending his head sideways. Ruari then hit the man with force, satisfied when blood sprouted from Ewan’s nose.

“Augh!” Ewan yelled. “Get off of me.” He covered his face with both hands.

Ruari was hauled off of Ewan and he swung blindly, not caring who it was. His first punch landed on Tristan’s jaw. The second hit sent Malcolm backward.

Guards rushed forward, but Malcolm told them to remain back.

“This is between Ewan and me,” Ruari yelled, rushing Ewan who was holding his nose with two fingers.

His cousin was quick, punching him twice, but he barely felt it. They rolled around the ground and when he lifted a fist to hit Ewan, once again he was pulled away.

Chest heaving, Ruari shrugged them off and trudged back toward the stables. He would not fight the three of them. It was obvious they’d put Ewan up to goading him and why they’d interfered.

What his cousin said was not true. That he was in love was a ridiculous notion. Did he even know what it felt like? Was it what he experienced for the men who, up until recently, he thought of as cousins? Was it what he’d felt for his father, who he’d thought of as his uncle? Was it the pain and emptiness that had filled him since leaving Esme behind?

Pressing his lips together, Ruari sat on the cot and closed his eyes. When he touched his face, he winced.

What was he supposed to do now? He’d left Esme behind.

He remained sitting in the empty room without eating for the next two days. He was unable to speak or think of anything more than why he’d allowed Esme to go.

Laird Fraser had been understanding, telling him he was welcome to return at any time. Keithen, on the other hand, not as much, calling him a coward for not fighting for his wife.

If ever there was a time he needed advice it was then.

Morning came and Ruari could not fight against the pangs of hunger any longer. He went to the main house and entered through the back door. It was late morning, so most of the maids were outside in the garden or had gone to the village to purchase what would be needed for last meal. Moira didn’t speak to him. Instead, she placed a plate piled with meat and root vegetables on the table. “Drink this,” she said, slamming a cup of ale on the table.

While he ate, the older woman studied him. Ian’s mother had always treated him like a son. The late laird’s wife, Lady Ross, had always been distant, so all of them had sought maternal guidance from the cook, who had no problem doling out advice and reprimands.

“Ye look horrible. Once ye eat, go bathe.”

Ruari nodded and shoved food into his mouth.

“After ye finish washing, pack up and go.”

Thinking there was more to the sentence, he looked to Moira. The woman slapped him on the side of the head. “What were ye thinking leaving yer wife behind? Ye took a vow to protect her and she is now part of ye. Go get yer wife or I will never speak to ye again.”

“She chose to remain behind. What of her vow to me?”

“Sometimes, a person is forced to make a decision, especially when pushed away.”

He ate the rest of the food and then went to the bedchamber to retrieve clean clothing. The interior of the chamber was like they’d left it. A light fragrance in the air was all Esme and he inhaled deeply. Across the bed was a shawl she often used when getting up to cover herself from the chill in the air. Refusing to look at the table that held her belongings, he went to a trunk at the foot of the bed and retrieved a tunic and breeches.

He stopped at seeing a ribbon that had fallen on the floor.