Page 89 of A Flawed Scotsman

The laird got to his feet. “I must speak to her immediately. Why was I not informed?”

“It is something that I wished to tell ye in person. She claims to have left because of a letter she received,” Ruari said. “I would rather she stay here than have another incident occurring with the potential for dire consequences.”

A short time later, Esme appeared. Gregor and Keithen left the room so only Ruari and the two lairds remained.

Ruari’s heart thudded when Esme looked to them with obvious confusion. She swallowed visibly and then walked to where he was and sat next to him.

“I must tell ye how disappointed I am to hear of yer escapade.” The laird’s voice shook with fury. “Do ye have any idea how frail the truce with the Mackenzie is?”

Esme nodded but remained silent. Her face, however, turned red and her eyes became glossy.

Malcolm looked into Ruari’s eyes before speaking next. “We have decided to give ye a choice in this matter. We cannot risk ye deciding to escape again, so if ye prefer to remain here, Ruari agrees to remain married to ye.”

Wide-eyed, she turned to him.

Ruari met her gaze. “It is yer choice, Esme.”

“I have already told my husband I wish to remain with him.” Esme glared around the room. “I am aware of my mistake and do not need to be treated like a child, punished over and over for it.”

“Ye are not being punished,” Malcolm stated.

Her father shook his head. “Ye have an understanding husband. Most would end the marriage.”

Esme turned to Ruari. “If ye wish to end the marriage, just say so, Husband. I have already repeated over and over again that I wish to remain with ye. I want to stay married because I love ye. But if ye do not feel the same and wish me to stay here, I will. Oh, to hell with all of ye.” She pushed from the table so hard, it moved. Then after one more glare, she raced away.

The men remained silent. Malcolm and Laird Fraser looking everywhere but directly at Ruari.

“Mayhap ye should go speak to her,” Malcolm finally said.

He found her pacing in the same courtyard in which he’d just spoken with Keithen. When seeing him, she turned away, but not before he saw she was crying. “Go away, Ruari. Just leave. I will remain here.”

“Ye can return with me.” He reached for her and she shrugged away. “The offer was so that ye can be safe.”

There was fire in her eyes. “Twice, I have told ye how I feel.” She wiped at tears that continued to spill. “And both times, ye dismiss it. I was forced on ye and now ye have found a way to rid yerself of me.”

“Esme,” he started. “I have hope that we are able to remain as husband and wife.”

“That is not how I see it,” she snapped. “Ye keep repeating that I can stay here, and I have told ye each time that I do not wish it. It is almost as if ye do not want to hear it.”

Ruari was at a loss. As if he were being pulled under water, he struggled to find the adequate words. Why would Esme want to remain with him? The idea was foreign. Nothing formed in his mind other than the thought to get away and return to the simple life of living in the stables back at Ross Keep where he didn’t have to fear anymore loss.

“Yer silence makes my decision easier,” Esme said. Her eyes filled with sorrow and she shook her head. “I will stay.”

For a long moment, after his wife walked away, Ruari remained still. He felt if he took one step, he’d falter and collapse. He remembered sensations that he’d not felt since being left at Ross Keep, both his parents leaving. He struggled to take breaths before he stumbled to a nearby wall and leaned against it.

No longer a lad, but a grown man, a strong fighter, he refused to allow sensations of rejection to take purchase. He struck the wall with his fist, the pain helping bring a semblance of control.

*

The entire trip back to Ross Keep, Ruari refused to speak to anyone. After growing tired of the glares from Malcolm and Ian’s wives, he urged his mount to a gallop and left the party. Several guards, thinking it a race, followed suit. Upon arriving, he ensured his horse was brushed down, watered and fed and then he went to the rooms just behind the stable.

Had those rooms always been so sparse? A bed, tiny table and a dusty trunk were the only items in one. In the other, there were two chairs and a slender table on one side with the rest of the space empty. The window had no covering and a spider had decided to use its skills to provide one.

“I thought I’d find ye here.” Ewan stood at the doorway, making the already small space shrink.

“I prefer to be alone.”

His cousin shrugged. “I prefer to be naked with a buxom woman atop me but, yet, here we are.”