Page 66 of Every Time We Touch

“No fucking way,” Austin says.

Lauren processes the news in silence—for now.

“That’s who has you looking like you’re having the best sex of your life.” Juan’s good for levity in most situations, but he sometimes forgets to rein it in.

“Ugh.” Austin slaps him on the thigh. “Don’t say that, babe. Just don’t.”

“Sorry. My bad.” Juan shoots me a look that I can only read as saying, ‘you go, girl’. Because the vibe is quite tense, it does offer me some relief.

“That’s disgusting,” Lauren says. “What the hell, Jen?”

When I talked to Heather on the phone about this, she told me that Austin and Lauren were entitled to their first reaction—no matter how bad. That, no matter how you twist or turn it, this is shocking, especially because our dad still has feelings for Clancy.

But I don’t want to apologize for my feelings for Clancy—I only owe my dad an apology for that. I wait, in excruciating silence, until one of them asks me an actual question.

“Does Dad know?” Lauren’s first.

“Yes. I told him on Monday.”

“What did he say?” Austin asks.

“He’s upset.” It’s impossible to keep a tremor out of my voice now. “And hurt.”

“Oh my god,” Lauren says. “I can’t believe you would do this to Dad.”

“Jen hardly did it on purpose,” Heather says.

“I bet you knew all along,” Lauren snaps. “Don’t tell me you approve of this.”

“It’s not a matter of—” Heather starts to say.

I cut her off. “It’s okay, Heather. I’ve got this.” I try to look Lauren in the eye, but I can’t. “I know this sounds bad, but I wouldn’t be telling you this if it wasn’t serious between Clancy and me.”

“Did she cheat on Dad with you?” Austin asks, the horror audible in his voice.

“No.” Being quizzed like this by my own family makes me feel about two inches tall. “Clancy ended it with Dad as soon as…”

“As soon as what?” Lauren jumps out of her seat.

“That must have been some tango lessons,” Juan says, taking the heat off me, but only for too short a moment.

“As soon as we… felt a spark.” My voice is growing smaller by the minute as well.

“Jesus Christ, Jen.” Lauren paces behind the couch. “Can’t you see how wrong this is? What about Dad?”

“I know.” In quite a few ways, this is worse than telling my dad.

“Are you telling me that this woman who dumped our father in a heartbeat because”—Lauren scoffs—“she caught feelings for someone else—for you—is worth risking your relationship with Dad? With us?”

“Let’s not get carried away,” Heather says.

“Carried away?” Lauren curls her fingers around the backrest of the couch, her knuckles turning white. “How did you expect Dad to react to this?” She shakes her head. “He’s the last guy on earth who deserves to be treated like this. By his own daughter.” She pushes herself up. “I’m going to call him.”

“Lauren, darling.” Juan gets up and walks over to my sister. “Let’s take a breath. I know this is a shock. I totally get it, but let’s just take a little breather, shall we?”

“Don’t talk to me as if I’m some child that needs soothing.” I can’t hold Lauren’s anger against her for one single second. “This is not how you treat a parent.” She glares at me. “Why can’t you see this? Why do I have to tell you this?”

I wish the floor would open up and swallow me whole. “You don’t have to tell me,” I whisper.