Page 43 of Back To Our Beginning

“That’s what I thought,” he grinned wider.

“You’re not the only one who’s involved at the heart level. You know that, don’t you, Beaumont?”

He nodded. “I’ve just been waiting for you to catch up, Avery.”

“Asshole,” I muttered.

He chuckled.

I smoothed my hands up his chest and rested them on his wide shoulders. He felt so good beneath my palms. Hard, hot, and masculine.

“So, now that you’ve figured out you’re involved at the heart level, are you going to give me a massage?”

“I repeat…asshole.”

This time, he threw back his head and laughed. Then he pulled me in and kissed me.

His kisses were decadent. Better than any dessert or alcohol, better even than a Leon’s praline. I gorged myself for long minutes until I finally pushed at his chest.

“Do you know what I’ve been waiting for?” I asked. I was slightly out of breath. His eyes were sparkling.

“No, what?” He sounded out of breath, too.

“I’ve been waiting to feel like myself again, you know?” I glanced up at him through my lashes. “Not the social worker. Not the sister. Not the fixer. Not the one who has to hold things together. Just to feel like me.”

He sobered immediately, and one of his hands cupped my cheek like I was something precious. “You are you. You’ve always been just Maddie. At least to me you are. You’re just my precious Maddie.”

“No,” I whispered. “I’ve been pieces of me. Broken off bits I show to people. I’m whatever they need to see. But now I realize I’ve always felt whole with you.” I sucked in a deep breath. “That scares the hell out of me, Beau.”

His thumb grazed my lower lip. “It doesn’t scare me. Not even a little bit. Like I said, the real Maddie, the whole Maddie, she’s precious. She’s a gift.”

“Ah God, you better not make me cry, you jerk.” I sucked in another deep breath. I kissed him again, slow and deep this time. When we pulled apart, my smile was shaky. Maybe a little watery, but oh so happy.

His smile was more of a smirk.

“You’re annoying,” I grumbled as I smiled.

“You’re still bossy,” he said, as his smirk changed into a bright smile.

“If I’m still bossy, I might as well run with it.” I pushed out of his arms and stood by the chair. I held out my hand. “Come to bed with me.”

He hesitated.

“It’s not what you think. At least not yet. I just…want you there. I want to fall asleep next to you. I want to wake up with your stubble scraping my shoulder. I want to know what it’s like to have your arms around me in the middle of the night and not feel so alone.”

Something flickered in his eyes. Heat, yes, but more than that. Something almost reverent.

“I can do that,” he whispered as he took my hand. The jerk made me really tug to get him out of the chair, and I found myself laughing again.

I led him down the hallway. “Come on, Beaumont, let’s see if you snore as loudly as I’ve always suspected you do.”

“You’ve dreamed about me snoring?”

“Vividly.”

He followed me to the bedroom, our fingers laced, and for the first time in years, I didn’t feel like I was walking toward an ending.

I felt like I was walking towards home.