Page 77 of The Blessing

“I’m just worried that—” I pause, taking a deep breath. “I’m just worried that once I know what’s going on, it’ll ruin the perception I have of the only parent I’ve ever looked up to.”

Ronnie sighs, obviously struggling to find the right words. “Trevor, you’ll cross that bridge when you come to it. Tonight, just worry about getting your answers.” She runs a hand through my hair, comforting me before she continues to say, “I thought my dad was cheating on my mom while she was sick. He was really close to one of his female friend and seeing them together made me insanely jealous and angry on my mother’s behalf. Later, I found out that they never had an affair, but I know and understand the anger you’re feeling.”

“So, you think they’re just friends?”

“I don’t know, Trev. Whatever they are, you won’t know until you talk to your dad and ask him.”

“Mama!” Grey squeals, wanting our attention.

“I’m still not used to him calling me that,” Ronnie comments with a nervous giggle as she takes Grey in her arms.

I watch her as she rocks our boy. He has his head resting comfortably against her tits. My heart feels as if it’s going to fucking burst—it’s so full of love for those two. I always get choked up when I watch them; their interactions are always so fucking heartwarming. I lay my head on her shoulder, soaking up what comfort she offers me. Ronnie’s my anchor. I know that without her—I’d be drifting. We stay like this until it’s time for me to go. She kisses my forehead and encourages me to go, promising she and Grey will be waiting for my return.

“What if he’s done what I think he has?”

She shrugs, and with a sympathetic smile she says, “You’ll just learn to deal. Just like you always do. You’re strong, Trev. Things only have power over you if you let them.”

I give her a kiss for luck and then I’m on my way.

I enter the restaurant with a heavy heart. It’s dinnertime and the dining room is filled with happy families enjoying their meals with Cash softly playing in the background. His old, raspy voice wafts through the air as I drift through the restaurant to where my dad is posed at a table in the corner. He looks just like I remembered him, though, I’m not sure why I’d thought he’d look any different. I suppose it’s the foreign feeling I’m experiencing as I think of him. He looks resigned, and I wonder if he knows why I insisted on having dinner tonight. He gives me a hesitant smile as soon as he sees me approaching and stands to greet me. He wraps his arms around me for a quick hug. I can’t help but notice how different it feels. I just can’t stand being fucking lied to.

We sit down, and although we’re only a few feet apart, I feel like there are miles between us. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat and gives me another small smile. The silence quickly becomes unbearable, so he finally decides to speak up.

“What’s wrong, Trevor? You sounded off on the phone when we spoke.”

“I saw you the other day,” I say, colder than I intended to sound.

His brows knit together in confusion and he leans across the table. “What do you mean, ‘you saw me’?”

I shake my head, not wanting to say it aloud. If I put it out there, then it’ll all be real. I’ve never been one to be a champion for my mother. Especially after the incident where she basically fucked me over. But knowing my dad isn’t the man I once thought he was makes me want to stand up for her. Maybe there was more to the story than I originally thought when I was growing up.

“I stopped in at the deli near my work to pick up some sandwiches for dinner and I saw a woman there. She looked familiar. Then I realized she was the same woman who approached me a while back at the grocery store when I was there with Grey. So, I was curious about her. I watched her grab two drinks and leave… and what I saw after that… I saw her with you. Who is she, Dad?”

He pales as he asks, “She approached you and Greyson?”

I’m taken back by his question. What the fuck does that matter? I shake my head, growing annoyed. “Who is she?” I ask again.

He studies me in silence for a moment. “She’s an old friend, Trevor. I haven’t seen her in a very long time.”

I snort. “You expect me to believe that shit? The way you looked at her—it was like the way I look at Ronnie. You don’t look at a ‘friend’ like that.”

“Well, that’s what she is,” he insists.

“Was she always just a friend to you?”

Dad’s face contorts into a grimace before he quickly looks away. That’s what I fucking thought. With a pained expression he shakes his head—still unable to meet my gaze. “No.”

“Were you with her when you were with Mom?”

He’s so quiet. I’ve never seen him like this. The strong, confident man I once knew is gone. Suddenly, my heart fucking shatters and I wonder what else he’s kept from me.

“I loved her once,” he tells me quietly. “I met her when I was really young—my sophomore year of high school. I was taken by her instantly.”

“What happened?” I wonder aloud.

He shrugs and leans back in his chair. “Life, I suppose. I left Colorado to go to school and she stayed behind. While we were separated, she met someone else and got married. I didn’t know about the man until I returned home one summer. Out of all the phone calls we shared, she never once mentioned him. I thought we could remain friends, but her husband, Vince, didn’t like me very much.” He shakes his head and stays silent for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. “Anyway, I met Evelyn and we got married a few years later.”

“So…” I trail off in disbelief. “You two are just friends now? I don’t understand.”

“Her husband died about a year ago. He was killed in an accident overseas. She needed a friend to lean on, Trevor.”

I don’t know what to think. Has he loved this woman all this time? “So, you were never unfaithful to Mom? This was just an old flame of yours?”

He takes a shaky breath before answering. “Trevor, I’m not going to lie to you. There was a time while she was in town and Felicity’s husband was gone for a few weeks. Your mom was on a ski trip with her friends and I… made a mistake,” he says in a hoarse voice. “I won’t say I regret it because I don’t.” He stops, his eyes becoming wet. “It only happened a few times and then her husband came back and whisked her away. That was it, Trevor. I swear to you. That was decades ago. I’ve only just begun seeing her again not too long ago. She moved around constantly, and her husband was a complete bastard to her. I couldn’t have had her if I wanted to.”

Now that I’ve heard the truth, I can’t help but look at him differently. He’s not the perfect superhero I imagined he was when I was growing up. While the truth feels like a stab to my fucking guts—his faults make him human... He’s imperfect—just like me. We’ve both fucked up and let others down. I wish the truth wasn’t such a hard pill to swallow. It’s pretty fucking ironic. As I sit here suffering, I finally realize that my dad and I are more alike than I had once thought. We’re both flawed.

“What’s her name?”

“Felicity Leigh.” After he said her name, the grim look on his face disappears completely. It’s as if the thought of her alone alleviates all of his problems.