Page 76 of Love Lessons

I’m hearing you say that you want a relationship with him, but you’re just worried it won’t work out. Is that it?

Landon nodded. Ash made so many things simpler.

Let’s assume that you want a relationship, then, and we can guarantee that you’ll stay together. Do you also want him to be your Daddy?

I don’t even know. I mean, I do. But I have, like, a three-month curse. He laughed, but it wasn’t funny.

Ash didn’t laugh, their face showing only empathy. What does that mean?

I used to date a lot. All through college and most of my twenties. I must have had a dozen relationships that I thought would really work out. But about three months in, every time, it would fall apart.

Why?

God, all the reasons. Sometimes I was too clingy and moved too fast. Sometimes we fought. Apparently I’m too pushy? Two different guys cheated on me, which like, isn’t a problem if you’re just messing around, but they said that we were exclusive. Some of them got bored with me, I guess, and just checked out. I had one relationship that technically lasted six months, but only because it was mostly long distance and we broke up once he got back.

Landon thought back. There were more.

Did you want a longer relationship, though?

Landon blew out his breath. I mean, I did at the time. I guess I still do. But like… Dustin and I met three months ago, and we’ve barely spent any time together and I already fucked it up.

Ash pulled him in for another hug. Landon let himself be held for a moment, sinking into Ash’s warmth. It didn’t fix everything, but it sure felt a lot better.

Eventually he figured he should check on the kids and maybe not hug for so long, so he pulled back. Lola was swinging from the monkey bars and Matt was lining up leaves on a park bench.

Ash rubbed his shoulder. Thanks for sharing that. I have no idea why they weren’t interested in you, but let’s assume for a minute that they were all assholes who didn’t know a good thing when they had it. And let’s assume that Dustin is crazy about you, which is what he said, and can break the three-month curse. So, do you want a relationship with him?

Landon let himself really consider it for the first time. I… I don’t even know. I feel like when I’m with him it’s this slice out of my real life.

In a good way?

Yeah, he finally admitted with a smile that momentarily cut through the lingering sadness. It’s kind of magical being with him. I’ve just been scared of getting used to it.

I’m hearing you say that you want a relationship with him, but you’re just worried it won’t work out. Is that it?

Landon nodded. Ash made so many things simpler.

Let’s assume that you want a relationship, then, and we can guarantee that you’ll stay together. Do you also want him to be your Daddy?

I don’t even know. I mean, I do.But I have, like, a three-month curse. He laughed, but it wasn’t funny.

Ash didn’t laugh, their face showing only empathy. What does that mean?

I used to date a lot. All through college and most of my twenties. I must have had a dozen relationships that I thought would really work out. But about three months in, every time, it would fall apart.

Why?

God, all the reasons. Sometimes I was too clingy and moved too fast. Sometimes we fought. Apparently I’m too pushy? Two different guys cheated on me, which like, isn’t a problem if you’re just messing around, but they said that we were exclusive. Some of them got bored with me, I guess, and just checked out. I had one relationship that technically lasted six months, but only because it was mostly long distance and we broke up once he got back.

Landon thought back. There were more.

Did you want a longer relationship, though?

Landon blew out his breath. I mean, I did at the time. I guess I still do. But like… Dustin and I met three months ago, and we’ve barely spent any time together and I already fucked it up.

Ash pulled him in for another hug. Landon let himself be held for a moment, sinking into Ash’s warmth. It didn’t fix everything, but it sure felt a lot better.

Eventually he figured he should check on the kids and maybe not hug for so long, so he pulled back. Lola was swinging from the monkey bars and Matt was lining up leaves on a park bench.