Page 62 of Client from Hell

“It can be, but Jonas has always been wired for touch. He was ridiculously touch starved when I first got a hold of him. I’m fairly sure the lack of generalized affection contributed to his issues as a mortal. He tried to fill in the holes pursuing wealth.”

Poor Jonas. “That didn’t work out well for him, did it?”

“I think it worked out just fine, all things considered.” Lucifer chuckled, released me, and closed the door. Then, proving he had a mean streak a mile wide, he zapped Jonas.

The incubus jumped off the bed with a yelp and landed in a heap on the floor.

I ate my ice cream, raised a brow, and somehow kept from giggling.

“Fuck,” Jonas announced, and he groaned, grabbed our stolen blanket, and covered his head.

“Playtime is over, I’m afraid. I caught your woman getting ice cream using money she stole from your wallet.”

“As it’s money I stole from your wallet, I don’t see a problem with this. It’s my fault for falling asleep. She lulled me into a sense of complacency. Damn it.”

I grinned, as I’d done a rather good job on insisting I needed some attention to keep my virus from doing something he’d regret, not that my virus had any interest in wandering off.

The passing days had done a good job of getting me used to no longer being alone in my head. I also understood why Jonas insisted my virus was a she rather than an it. She had opinions, and most of her opinions involved luring Jonas to bed and making sure he stayed where he belonged.

She also seemed to understand incubi tended to wander and had zero intention of allowing him to stray.

“She’s been doing a stellar job of feeding you, and you’ve finally relaxed enough you’re able to sleep again. Give her another week, and you’ll be back to being properly healthy, which means your sister won’t be pacing trenches throughout my many hells worrying about your general health.” Lucifer chuckled and took over the ratty computer chair near the piss-poor excuse for a desk, which was little more than a dinky shelf bolted to the wall. “I have a job for you.”

“Does it involve doing basic research into the labs?” I asked.

“Yes and no. Honestly, it involves turning you into our bait so we can find out what they want with you, Diana, and Darian. Diana and Darian can’t teleport. Jonas can, and he’s sufficiently bonded to you at this point in time he will be able to teleport directly to your location as needed, so you’re the best choice for this operation. The basic research into the labs part will happen after we get a general idea of what they want with you. We think they want to test your lycanthropy virus, and since your virus was forced to attune to a species, you will help our cause.”

“Their viruses aren’t attuned, correct?” I asked.

“Correct, and everything we’ve researched into the situation indicates they won’t attune their viruses without someone directly infecting them with an active strain. I think I will do what He did to you to them, attuning their viruses to their base species. I am hoping they assume you naturally attuned your virus, versus it being forced to attune to your new species. That’s actually on my to-do list today, in about an hour. I told them we have to go to a meeting. In reality, they’re going to be enduring some suffering. As I’m cruel and evil, I’ll take Darian out first, and before Diana can go full nightmare on me, I’ll subject her to the same thing. It’s always fun reminding the minions I am who I am, and I am not precisely shy about dishing out suffering for the greater good.”

Poor Diana and Darian. “You should probably compensate them for being an asshole, Lucifer.”

“I am compensating them. They won’t be used as test subjects in this stage of our investigation. I gave that job to you, and I do plan on compensating you and your bed buddy for your work. I haven’t decided how I’m compensating you yet, but it depends on how this plays out.”

“You think they will take blood tests and be done with it?”

“They’ll want you alive for certain. The research files we stole had a plan laid out for how to handle long-term captivity of lycanthropes, and they are attempting to acquire your medical history. They have identified you are in treatments for cancer, which are going well, and their files indicated they intend to continue your cancer treatments. I suspect they do have plans to test their strain as part of cancer care.” Lucifer huffed and shook his head. “If you were a willing test subject, I’d accuse them of wanting to do good for society, but the reality of the situation states this operation isn’t out to do good for society. I am not sure what their end game is, truth be told. But I do know we need to get someone inside for a direct look at it, and you’re our safest bet, especially since Jonas can get you in and out—and Jonas isn’t a factor in their files that we are aware of, so he’s your ace up your sleeve.”

I regarded the incubus, who remained on the floor hiding under the blanket we’d stolen from the Devil. “I wore him out. Will he be all right?”

“Your bed buddy is fine. He’s just whining because I showed up at my whim and shattered his little delusions he could actually escape from me.”

“You’re an asshole,” Jonas complained.

“The game amused me, but it’s time to go back to work. Diana is trying to figure out who is responsible for the leaks over at the CDC. Sandra, you’re at the highest risk right now, so I want to give you a tracker.”

“A tracker?”

Lucifer dug a small box out of his pocket and opened it, revealing a large syringe with a nasty tip. “This is the latest and greatest in trackers, designed to look like a subdermal implant used for some cancer treatments. We have had a note added to your CDC file that you have a subdermal implant that has no active drugs but is not being removed due to the possibility of complications, with a note that the implant should be left in place for a period of the year to minimize any potential complications of its removal. We are hopeful they will ignore the implant, as everything we have on them indicates they want you for a long period of time. Of course, they will be bringing a spicy pony with bite into their midst. They currently believe you’re an unmated lycanthrope female, which makes you more valuable, although that ruse will be up in a hurry. And no, Jonas, I do not want you to purge her virus. There will be no depressed mares in captivity for this exercise. As it is, she’s going to have separation anxiety because her virus has become accustomed to having you around all of the time. You’re going to have separation anxiety, too, because you really do not like when your dessert wanders off.”

Jonas sighed and curled under the blanket in a futile attempt to escape from the Devil. “I feel like I’ve been tricked.”

“Yes. How dare I trick my little brother into being a happy, well-fed incubus. I am the absolute worst.”

I giggled at the sarcasm dripping from Lucifer’s tone. “He won that round, Jonas. I’m okay with being used as the bait as long as steps are being taken to make sure I don’t end up becoming a permanent part of their lab operations.”

“That’s the idea.” Lucifer hopped to his feet, bent over, and snagged his blanket, engaging in a tug-of-war battle with Jonas for it. “You can keep the blanket, but you need to get your naked ass dressed so we can get this dog and pony show on the road.”