Page 197 of The Last Guardian

Zaidkiel had sensed her mind drifting away at times—and it had disappeared completely when Alyana finally met the Sankyanoia.

His soul had been so entwined with hers that, when it vanished, he felt her drift away. It was as if his own soul had crossed over into darkness.

It had torn out his fucking heart. It had felt worse than death.

How could he sense her like that? Even with walls, stairs, a fucking castle between them, Zaidkiel could still feel her presence.

He had not yet delved into the reason why he could sense her in that way—the drastic pull he always felt around her. He hadn’t sought an explanation as to why her heartbeat was the only sound capable of soothing his soul—the only rhythm that allowed him to sleep.

To breathe, for fuck’s sake.

Alyana was still weak, and her wounds had not healed—perhaps the creature, the result of their connection, was too strong for her body to bear in that state.

He had tried to visit her a few times and tried to communicate with the beast. But every time, the damn thing—in the form of a giant cat—was curled up at her feet like it was some pet and not one of the most deadly creatures in existence. Zaidkiel had seen it transform in the core of the mountain, its silver shards blending into a dragon before changing into a cat once more.

Every time, without the need to open an eye, the cat propelled Zaidkiel out of the room with a surge of energy.

As if I’m going to hurt her, Zaidkiel thought to himself.

But he had hurt her.

Zaidkiel downed the drink in a swift motion, trying to erase the thoughts of what he had done to her. He had tried to justify withholding some truths from her, concealing the real reasons why he had helped her, the real reasons behind the mark.

Because he couldn’t fucking kill her.

Zaidkiel’s existence revolved around killing, shielding the only thing he held dear. He was willing to sacrifice his soul to protect his sister, his only family. It had always been that way.

And Alyana was a potential threat.

Yet he couldn’t fucking kill her.

He had tried, though. He really had. Zaidkiel had followed her into the palace when she was spying on Arthur. He had tried to understand her motivations and her habits. It was the first thing they taught new assassins.

And he had been planning to act the same night and be done with this mess.

The night of the first ball, when he saw her leave the table and go to the balcony, it was ideal. No one was around. He could have just pushed her from the high balcony and been done with it. Given the height, she wouldn’t have survived.

But when Zaidkiel saw Alyana standing there, the moon tracing silver across her midnight gown, her eyes bright with innocent curiosity—everything he knew, everything he stood upon, shattered beneath him.

Even if he had had other opportunities, even though he had tried to convince himself that he was still planning to do it, that first time, deep down, he knew.

Zaidkiel couldn’t kill her—wouldn’t kill her.

Something had stopped him. Something hidden deep within his soul.

Why? What kind of trick did the ten play on him?

Zaidkiel remembered the day the Order voted to execute the human who could harness the power of the Sankyanoia. The six of them had discussed whether to take one life to save millions. A life that could bring victory or defeat.

And if they decided to keep this human alive, they had to make sure they chose the right path. For it could mean the end of all living beings.

The prophecy they had received from the Oralys… They had spent years searching for this human, searching every corner of Perygan. When the white raven had arrived a few months ago… everything changed.

The Nur’thraa shall wake, and the balance may shatter in a single breath. The creature birthed of light and darkness will wake and shall either save the realms or destroy them.

The Nur’thraa—Alyana.

She was life.