Page 96 of Bitterness of Spirit

He was exactly the man who, in disposition and talents, would most suit her—the man she had dreamed about her entire youth. His understanding and temper, though unlike her own, would answer all her wishes. By her ease and liveliness, his mind would soften, his manners improve; and from his judgment, information, and knowledge of the world, she would receive benefits of great importance. She needed him to be happy, and she hoped and prayed that he needed her too and that nothing diminished his ardent love for her. But she could not know that for sure since he preferred to stay away from her.

He would come for the wedding—and then she would know.

***

The day of Jane Bennet’s wedding to Mr. Bingley arrived in early May on a day as lovely as the bride.

The entire Meryton community gathered at the church and universally acknowledged that the happy couple made a perfect match. There was not a man more handsome or more amiable than Mr. Bingley, nor was there a more beautiful woman with a sweeter disposition than Jane Bennet. Their mutual affection was so obvious that it brought a smile to every face.

Elizabeth awaited the wedding day with almost as much nervousness as Jane. She knew she would finally meet Darcy once more, a fortnight since the maddening day that had changed their lives. His pained voice, his furious words, his spite towards his relatives and Wilson, and the reproaches of their betraying him resounded vividly in her mind.

His obvious withdrawal from their company during her final days in London was proof that he opposed any interaction with them. At times, she wondered whether he thought she was somehow to blame for Mr. Wilson’s plan. She dismissed the notion several times, but it continually returned to trouble her.

She could not bear to know that he lived somewhere in the world and thought ill of her, even if he was wrong.

She had expected him to arrive in the evening before the wedding, but he did not, and she feared he had changed his mind. Instead, she saw him arrive at the church with Bingley, and the weight on her chest lightened a bit. He greeted her warmly, held her hand for a brief moment, inquired after her health, and conveyed the best regards of the colonel and Anne.

Then Darcy was quickly surrounded by people—Sir William, Lady Lucas, Mrs. Philips, her father and mother—all of them suddenly being pleasantly surprised to see him. Once Wickham’s true character had been discovered, Mr. Darcy’s faults had diminished accordingly. Even more, Sir William and then Mr. Bennet expressed their appreciation to Mr. Darcy so eloquently that there was no room left for anything except general admiration.

With everyone, Mr. Bennet shared Mr. Darcy’s positive influence on Bingley’s re-acquaintance with Jane, and Mrs. Bennet lost not a single moment in showing him due deference.

To all, he responded with such warm amiability that he astonished the crowd. He congratulated Mrs. Bennet for her daughter’s wedding, greeted Sir William with familiarity, and expressed his pleasure at being in Meryton again. In half an hour, he spoke more than in all the time he had spent in Hertfordshire last autumn, raising much praise for his behaviour and handsome features that increased with his charming smile.

Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner approached Darcy, and they spoke for a while. Mr. Wilson only saluted him briefly but kept a respectable distance.

Except for some shared glances, Elizabeth had few opportunities to speak to him.

Even in the church, while standing by Bingley’s side, he looked at her several times. She thought she noticed a trace of a timid smile—more in his eyes than on his lips—but could not be certain.

Her heart secretly told her that his altered manners were a sign of consideration for her, that he wanted to show her how much he had changed since he was last there. But her mind forbade her assuming too much.

She patiently waited for the ceremony to be over, hoping they would be able to speak more during the wedding breakfast, perhaps even take a stroll in the garden.

She moved a few steps away, allowing some distance between herself and the rest of the party, watching him in the midst of so many people. He was still uncomfortable and clearly not at ease, but he tried to bear the commotion bravely. She smiled, and he responded with a slight twist of his lips.

He spoke to Bingley and Jane, then to her parents and the Gardiners.

With painful despair, she saw his carriage arrive and Bingley embrace him cordially. He was leaving; she had no doubt of that!

Her heart ached, and breathing became difficult. He obviously did not want to stay in her presence any longer. Eventually, when she could barely contain her tears, he stepped towards her decidedly.

“Mr. Darcy.”

“Miss Bennet, I hope I am not bothering you. I came to say goodbye.”

“Are you leaving already? Even before the wedding breakfast?”

“Yes. I am afraid I must. I came only to keep my promise to Bingley. I am glad to see him and his new wife so happy. I do not believe my presence is needed any longer.”

“Perhaps not—if that is the only reason you came,” she said and then blushed at the impropriety of her words.

He stared at her, but she averted her eyes.

“How have you been these weeks? Everything is fine at Longbourn, I hope?” he asked.

“Yes, very much so.”

“I was pleased to see Miss Lydia in a good humour.”