Page 35 of Hope and Hot Chocolate on Mistletoe Lane

‘He was lost without you. We both were. I’m not saying that to make you feel guilty, love, but you seem to think that no one cared about you here. But you left a big hole when you left.’

A tear rolled down my cheek at her words. It felt like I had needed to hear that for years. ‘I missed you a lot,’ I admitted. ‘And Paul. So much so that I pulled away from you both in case I wanted to come home again.’

‘Why would that have been so bad, love?’

‘I didn’t want to fail. And I didn’t want to end up resenting Birchbrook like I thought my dad did. Or have someone break my heart like he had done. I didn’t trust anyone, even myself, when I left. I’m not sure I do now either.’

‘You are nothing like him!’ she cried fiercely. ‘Don’t let him break your faith or trust in people just because he didn’t deserve either. There are good people out there who will love you if you let them, and if you let yourself love them back, you can be happy. I still believe that, even after what happened to us. Don’t let him make you into someone you aren’t. You were always so loyal and protective of people you loved. Even if you hid behind your sarcasm and dry humour,’ she said with a twinkle back in her eye. ‘And I always envied how determined you were. And still are. You can do anything you want, just remember that. I know you’re strong enough to handle whatever comes your way.’

‘If I am, it’s because of you,’ I told her. It felt like something between us that had been damaged, or even broken, for a long time was starting to mend now. I looked down at my plate. ‘That lasagne was even better than I remembered. This whole cottage is better than I remember,’ I found myself saying in wonder.

‘It’s so good to have you home,’ Mum replied. ‘I brought down the Christmas tree from the loft. I thought maybe you were right; I shouldn’t have kept it up there for so long. I should have kept Christmas special for us.’

‘It was hard to celebrate,’ I told her. ‘I still find it hard.’

‘Then why don’t we change that today?’

26

PAUL

I carried down the box of Christmas ornaments into the café and heaved it up onto the counter as the sun pooled on top of it. Today had dawned bright and crispy and I was relieved that the stormy weather seemed to be behind us for now. It was freezing cold outside though as December crept closer. But inside the café, it was warm so I didn’t mind. My body ached but in a satisfying way. We’d worked hard all week to fix the storm damage and it was almost back to how it was before. I told my parents I would make the final touches ahead of our reopening tomorrow afternoon so they could rest today; they were shattered. But they were looking forward to it.

We’d managed to fix most of the damage using the insurance money, but we had lost a week’s trade so we needed this Christmas season for things to pick back up. Which was why I was determined to ignore my Scrooge-like tendencies when it came to festive décor, and go all out this year. I drew the line at playing Christmas songs in the café as I would likely self-combust by the end of the day but I would give Willow a run for her winter wonderland money.

As I opened up the box, there was a tentative knock on the locked door. I looked over and even though I didn’t want it to, my heart sped up a bit to see Holly out there. She smiled uneasily as I stepped over to the door, unlocked it and swung it open.

‘Hey,’ I said, taking in her outfit of jeans, chunky grey cardigan and the cream scarf tucked around her neck, topped off with a coat and boots. Her cheeks were flushed from the cold and she rubbed her hands together. ‘Uh, come in,’ I said as a sharp breeze hit me. It was too chilly to leave her standing out there.

She followed me inside and I closed the door again on the elements. ‘Sorry to just show up but I was out for a walk and saw the lights on,’ she said, looking around. She was still rubbing her hands together but then she smiled. ‘Oh, Paul, it looks great – as good as new. Better even!’

‘Thanks. It’s been a long week but we got there.’

She faced me with that smile and my heart thumped again. Then she did a double take. ‘Your beard! It’s gone!’ she cried then her cheeks seemed to turn even rosier.

‘Yeah. Well, I left a bit of stubble,’ I said, rubbing my chin and wishing I could stop myself from wondering if she liked it or not. I didn’t do this for Holly. But I still wanted her to like it.

‘It looks really… Uh, it suits you,’ she said, looking away. I couldn’t stop the relieved grin on my face, glad she couldn’t see it. ‘Still got the beanie, though,’ she added.

‘I’m still me,’ I replied with a shrug.

‘Yeah, you are,’ she said.

I frowned, wondering what that meant but I wasn’t sure I wanted to ask.

Her eyes fell on the box I’d been unpacking on the counter. ‘Is that the Christmas box?!’ Her nerves seemed to fade with excitement taking over her tone.

‘Yeah. I told my parents I’d decorate today ready to open up tomorrow.’

‘You said I could help decorate,’ she reminded, finally looking back at me.

‘Oh, well, I didn’t think after…’ I trailed off, flustered as she raised her eyebrows. She hadn’t contacted me all week; I thought that she wouldn’t want to be alone with me in here.

‘I’m not sure I trust your decorating skills,’ she said, going over to the box. ‘You still have this star!’ She pulled out the slightly wonky gold glitter star that had sat on top of the café Christmas tree for years.

‘Can’t break with that tradition; it would be bad luck,’ I said, joining her. She looked like a kid again as she pulled out the familiar decorations from our past mixed in with a few newer purchases Mum had made since then. It was nice to see her face light up like that; I didn’t think I’d seen that big smile since she’d been back.

‘Can I help, please?’ she asked as she held up some felt gingerbread bunting. ‘This is so cute.’