Page 36 of Hope and Hot Chocolate on Mistletoe Lane

I thought she was cute too. But I kept that to myself. ‘Sure. We’ll get it done faster with two of us.’

‘And there was me thinking you would like my company; you just want the job done quicker,’ she teased as she shed her coat and scarf then pulled out a set of fairy lights and lit them up. ‘I have avoided Christmas for a long time,’ she said as I grabbed the step ladder to hang the festive bunting up on the wall behind the counter. ‘Now I’m not only creating a winter wonderland but I’ve helped Mum put the tree up in the cottage.’

I paused to look at her. ‘Really?’

She met my gaze. ‘We decided we shouldn’t let this weird Christmas aversion carry on. We both used to love it! I don’t want my dad to ruin it for me forever. And I’m enjoying working at the farm so it felt natural. The tree looks as pretty as I remember it. And this café will too.’

We hung the bunting together and then draped fairy lights around it and added more across the window where the gingerbread village was.

‘I’m glad you’re here,’ I told Holly as we carried the Christmas tree to the corner to set it up. It had been so long since she’d been around for this tradition but it was like time faded away as we decorated the tree together, working in companiable silence.

‘Me too. My best friend in the city – Georgia – wouldn’t believe this. She always calls me a Grinch and laughs about how ironic it is that my surname is Wynter.’ She rolled her eyes as she spoke.

‘I’ve been called Scrooge before, don’t worry,’ I replied. ‘Maybe if you’re not completely happy then things like Christmas don’t feel quite right somehow.’

‘Yeah,’ she said with a nod. ‘But maybe I’ve been guilty of actively stopping myself from enjoying things like Christmas. I don’t know. I went to have lunch with Mum yesterday then we decorated the tree. And it was nice. We actually talked about the past.’

‘That’s good,’ I said mildly, not wanting to sound too relieved but I was glad she was finally opening up to her mum. I saw how upset Donna was when Holly left and that was at odds with how Holly talked about their relationship now.

‘Mum said she blamed herself for my dad leaving, and I had blamed myself. She had no idea people at school had been shit about it all either. It feels like we should have said a lot to each other before now. But it was hard at the time. It’s still hard. Thanks, though.’

‘For what?’

‘Encouraging me to talk about it. I felt so ashamed about what my dad did and I felt like it was partly my fault. Maybe I’ve believed that for too long.’ She shrugged but I knew how much it all must hurt her still.

‘It was never your fault,’ I told her fiercely. ‘He made some really shitty decisions and left you and your mum to deal with the fallout. You’re both better off without him.’

‘She told me you used to go round to the cottage after I left,’ Holly said as she hung a bauble on the tree. There was a streak of glitter on her cheek that sparkled in the wintery sunshine coming through the window. I fought the urge to wipe it off her cheek. Instead, I concentrated on hanging the gingerbread-man ornament on the other side of the tree.

‘We both missed you,’ I said simply. There was no point in denying that.

There was a long silence when we couldn’t look at one another, so we just carried on decorating.

‘I missed you both too,’ Holly said after a couple of minutes.

I smiled. I was relieved to hear that. For a long time, I’d wondered whether she had or not.

‘I’ve decided to stay in Birchbrook,’ I told her as I stepped back to look at what we’d done so far. The tree was bursting with ornaments now. They were mismatched and colourful. The effect was kitschy in the best way. ‘I think I was guilty of the same thing as you: blaming this town for things when it was all down to me. I felt like a failure and I took that out on people around me.’

Holly stopped what she was doing. ‘Why would you feel like a failure?’

I went over to the table behind me and sat down. Holly instantly came and sat with me, waiting until I was ready to speak again. No pushing or rushing me. I liked that about her. ‘I applied to the same university as you but I didn’t get in.’

She took a sharp intake of breath. ‘I didn’t think you applied.’

‘Because I didn’t want to tell you that I didn’t get in. I felt like a failure. I felt sorry for myself having to stay here and go to the local university. And then starting to work here, even though they were amazing opportunities. I guess I thought it proved I wasn’t good enough for you. And maybe I’ve been thinking that ever since – I’m just not good enough. But what happened here in the café on Sunday made me realise how much I do like working here and I want to keep this place going and make a success of it. I’ve been a grumpy bastard, to be honest. But I want that to change so I can be happy.’ I shrugged. All of that had come out in a rush. It was embarrassing sharing stuff like that. I wasn’t used to it. But it also felt like a relief. Like something tight inside me had loosened up a little bit. Maybe there was something to this sharing-stuff lark after all.

Holly jumped up out of her chair. For a second, I was worried she was going to walk out of the café but she came over and leaned down to brush her lips gently against mine.

‘Holly,’ I groaned as she hovered there, her face so close to mine. I could smell her sweet perfume and her lips were plump and glossy, and looked so kissable, my body ached with the effort of not pulling them back onto mine. ‘What are you doing?’

‘I don’t know,’ she said and she bit her lip, making me groan again. ‘I just want to…’ She trailed off as our gazes locked.

I longed to know what she wanted. I wanted her so bad. My hand reached out to the back of her head and I pulled her towards me as I met her halfway, my lips melting against hers.

This time, she groaned, and all rational thought left my body. With my free hand, I tugged at her waist and she perched on my lap so our faces were now level. I looked into her eyes, which were darkened like I was sure my own were, her lips parted in a half-smile, her hair tousled from my touch, and I knew I’d been kidding myself that my attempt at a makeover had been anything but me trying to get her to see me like a man who had his shit together. And not the grumpy, scruffy guy that everyone thought hated his life. I didn’t want that any more. I wanted to be happy, and kissing Holly was making me happy. But I wasn’t sure if she felt the same.

I broke our frankly passionate kiss even though it was the last thing I wanted to do.