Page 22 of Hope and Hot Chocolate on Mistletoe Lane

I took a sip of my coffee and a bite of my sandwich in case I snapped too much at her in my response. Both were so tasty, I had to hold back a moan. ‘The winter wonderland is my job, Mum. Running my own business hasn’t been easy at all.’

‘You could have asked me for advice; I’ve run my own business since you were little.’

Mum sold the jewellery she made online. I hadn’t told her the trouble I’d been having thanks to Grant. We didn’t really share things with each other. ‘They are very different businesses.’

‘Why don’t you come to the cottage and help me decorate this year?’

My body stiffened. ‘You hate Christmas.’

‘No! I just… it was hard when your father left but maybe we should put that behind us.’

‘How can we? It ruined us,’ I said unhappily. Mum didn’t know I’d had a hard time at school when my dad left. She hadn’t wanted to talk about him and I’d been angry at her, thinking it was something she had done to make him go. So, I’d kept all my hurt inside. Now I was older, I knew it couldn’t have been black and white like that but it felt like it was too late to talk to her.

She sat in silence for a moment then finished her tea. ‘I wish you would forgive me,’ she said, so quiet, I almost didn’t hear her.

I was shocked. She’d never acted like she cared how fractured our relationship was. ‘I wish you would be honest with me about that time.’ She had pretended nothing was wrong but that had meant we treaded on eggshells around each other.

We stared at one another.

I thought she might open up but then she shook her head. ‘We shouldn’t go over the past. What matters is now. It’s nice to have you back in Birchbrook. I’ll let you get on, as you’re so busy.’ She got up and hurried out of the door, leaving me stumped as to how two people from the same family could be on such different pages.

17

PAUL

I didn’t want to admit that I was nervous but I had changed my shirt four times so the evidence was, unfortunately, speaking for itself. I honestly believed that time had a mind of its fucking own. When you wanted something to come around, time seemed to slow down but when you were enjoying something, it flew by. My nerves about Saturday night meant it arrived quickly when the week so often dragged.

‘Get a fucking grip,’ I told myself sternly as I put on a navy beanie to match my dark-blue shirt and jeans. I took the beanie off and stared in the mirror. For a second, I considered going out without wearing one but I quickly put it back on. I added my favourite trainers and then hurried out of my flat before I ended up changing again. Downstairs, my parents had closed the café for the day and were doing the final tidying up before having Sunday off, the only day of the week we weren’t open.

‘Are you wearing cologne?’ Dad asked as I brushed past them, hoping to make it out without conversation. No such luck. These were my parents, after all.

I just shrugged. I had spritzed a bit. My ex, Rach, had bought it for me one birthday but I rarely bothered to put any on.

‘Where are you off to, love?’ Mum asked, taking in my slightly smarter than usual outfit.

‘You do know I turned twenty-eight a couple of months ago, right?’

‘You just look nice. Hot date?’ Mum said with a sly smile.

I sighed as I grabbed my keys where I’d left them. ‘I’m off skating as I always do, then getting a drink with the lads afterwards.’ I avoided her eyes. ‘Holly is coming too.’

‘Sounds nice,’ she replied casually.

That got my attention. I side-eyed her as I headed for the door. ‘Just nice?’

‘Have fun,’ Dad said, and they suspiciously carried on with their tasks.

‘No more comments than that?’ I asked as I opened the door of the café. I was used to them trying to find out all they could about my personal life. Their non-interest in this was confusing.

‘Say hi to Holly,’ Mum called over her shoulder.

I narrowed my eyes but I had no time to work out what was up with them. I shrugged and left the café.

The cool November breeze whipped around me as I made my way to my car. It was dark outside, the stars peeking weakly though the low clouds that covered the town. The fairy lights strung across the High Street brightened the evening up though and I had to admit the road was special at this time of year.

I didn’t know why I was nervous. This was just us reliving days of our youth. But I remembered what those days had meant to me. And if I was honest, nothing else since Holly had left had come close to meaning as much.

Birch Tree Farm was quiet and still when I drove in. The farmhouse was all lit up, looking welcoming when Holly hurried out, waving to me as she walked to the car and climbed in. Instantly, I smelled her perfume and noticed she had red lipstick on. ‘I need a drink like you wouldn’t believe,’ she said as we set off for the ice rink. I liked going to the last ice session of the day so I could grab a drink afterwards either with Elliot and Lewis, or I’d head to the Birchbrook Arms and see who was there that I could have a beer with. I knew all the clientele so I never felt weird walking in alone. But tonight, I wouldn’t be alone for any of it. My monthly ritual had suddenly changed. It was slightly discombobulating.