Page 160 of Sin
My chest tightens. “What did you say about me?”
“That you look like shit.”
I stare at him.
“What?” He shrugs. “It’s true.”
“Jesus, Wilder.”
“I also told her you were doing what Owen said. Staying away. Not calling. Not showing up like a lunatic even though it was killing you.”
“Did she say anything to that?”
“She said, ‘Good.’”
I close my eyes. Good. It should make me feel better but doesn’t because it feels like a door closing quietly from the other side. Does that mean she’s giving up on me? On us…
Wilder leans forward. “Sin.”
“Don’t.”
“I’m serious.”
“So am I.”
“You look like you’re dying over someone you’re not allowed to call.”
My jaw flexes. “That’s because I am.”
The words sit between us. Wilder’s expression changes. He’s used to me being controlled. Cold. Arrogant. Detached. He knows my sins, but he also knows me.
“I don’t know what to do,” I admit.
The confession tastes like blood.
“I finally ended my marriage. I finally said the truth out loud. I’m doing everything the attorney said. Everything Owen said. Every damn thing I should have done before.” I drag a hand through my hair. “And it still feels like I’m losing her.”
Wilder’s voice is quiet. “Maybe you are. She’s allowed to choose herself.”
“I know that.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
“Because loving her doesn’t mean you get to pull her back because you’re miserable. Or scared.”
The words land exactly where they’re supposed to. I look toward the window. Chicago stares back. Dark. Cold. Unimpressed in all of my failures.
“I don’t want to pull her back,” I say. “I want to know she’s safe.”
“And if she doesn’t want you to know?”
My phone buzzes on the table, saving me from answering. It’s Richard. I answer the call on speaker, because anything he has to say Wilder can hear.
“Tell me you have good news,” I say.
“I have news,” Richard answers. “Good is subjective.”
