Page 90 of I’d Be Honored

Gemma and Caitlin moved in close, their eyes following the lines on the paper.

“Hay,” Gemma breathed, looking confused. “This is from your mom. Where did you get this?” She sounded almost as stunned as Hayley had been when she first found the letters.

Hayley relayed the entire series of events to Gemma and Caitlin, starting with her dad inviting her over for dinner and ending with the discovery of the hidden box of treasures she hadn’t known existed all these years.

“It’s like my mom knew I would fuck things up and need her to fix it. God, even my dad told me not to live my life alone.” Hayley pressed her palms to her forehead. “And I know,” she added, lifting her eyes to Gemma’s, “you’ve been saying it since the day we met.”

Gemma mimed zipping her lips shut.

“And look here—the Breakfast at Tiffany’s quote.” Hayley jabbed a finger at the words. “Maddie said that exact same thing to me the night I took her out on the rooftop.”

Gemma and Caitlin exchanged a quick look, their brows tightening in unison, but neither said a word.

Hayley took a sip of her coffee, letting it burn her mouth. The sting grounded her for half a second before she threw the blanket from her shoulders and started pacing the room again.

“Am I that big of an idiot?” she asked. “I found my soulmate, and I didn’t even try to stop her from walking away that night. Why didn’t I chase after her?”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Hay.” Gemma’s voice softened. “You’ve spent sixteen years teaching yourself how to keep people away.”

Caitlin stepped closer to Hayley, laying a firm hand on her arm. “I get that you’ve found these letters and you’re feeling inspired now, but you need to think hard about what you really want from all this. If you go fight for Maddie, you’d better be damn sure that you’re ready to hold onto her forever.”

“I am.” Hayley had never been more certain of anything in her life than she was of Maddie.

Gemma rounded the counter and threw her arms around Hayley’s shoulders. “You need to tell her. Go to LA and get her back, Hay.”

“You’re right,” Hayley agreed. What am I doing just standing here? “I need to get on a plane right now.” She stood up taller, ready to run straight to JFK from there.

“Well, maybe go change and pack something first. It smells like you’ve been living in Maddie’s T-shirt for weeks,” Gemma teased, but they both knew she wasn’t wrong.

“Hayley, do you remember what you told me a few years ago?” Caitlin asked, her gaze unwavering.

“Oh Lord, what?” Hayley had told Caitlin many things throughout the years, most of which hadn’t been particularly kind.

“If you hurt her again, God himself will not be able to stop me from making the rest of your life a living hell,” Caitlin recited, fighting hard not to smile.

Hayley laughed at Caitlin’s perfectly delivered threat, one she absolutely deserved to hear. “I love you too, Cait. I swear, if I can convince Maddie to give me another chance, you have my word that I will never hurt her again.”

Hayley pulled her friends into a tight hug, kissing each of their cheeks, before running toward the front door and shouting, “Someone text me Maddie’s address! I love you, wish me luck!”

Gemma cheered as Caitlin called back, “We love you more! Be safe and go get your woman!”

Hayley sprinted the couple of blocks home on foot. Panting, she ran up the flight of stairs and flung open her apartment door, beelining straight to her computer.

Within a few minutes, Hayley had booked herself a seat on the next flight out from JFK to LAX, leaving in two hours. She darted to her room, pulled out her carry-on suitcase from the closet, and haphazardly tossed in everything she could think of.

Remembering Gemma’s advice, she stripped out of the musky T-shirt, digging through her drawers for a new outfit. She wrapped herself in a long trench coat before rushing back out the door. There would be more time later to pull herself together.

In addition to Maddie’s address, Caitlin had sent her their own home address in LA so that Hayley could shower and get ready properly. All she had to do now was get on the plane and figure out what the hell she was going to say when she made it to Maddie’s front door.

——

Hayley landed at LAX six hours later. Thanks to her generous new sister-in-law, a driver was waiting for Hayley at the arrivals terminal.

She slid onto the black leather seat of the tinted Cadillac and texted Caitlin a quick thank you for making everything just a little easier.

Her anxiety only sharpened the closer she got to Maddie, as if her body could suddenly feel the distance between them shrinking. After a long ride, weaving through the streets of Hollywood and up into the hills, the car finally rolled to a stop in front of Caitlin and Gemma’s house in Laurel Canyon.

Hayley stumbled into the guest room, cranking the shower knob until the water ran so hot that it scalded her skin. She hoped the heat might scorch the nerves right out of her bones. Her mind was a whirlwind of static, a complete whiteout of hope and dread. She had no idea how Maddie would react to her unannounced appearance. The whole thing was beginning to feel like a reckless gamble.