Page 87 of I’d Be Honored
Co-lead. A seven-figure salary with backend royalties. Nine weeks in Europe with her best friends. A multi-Academy-Award-winning director who had written the script herself. Even in the mental state she’d been in, Maddie knew opportunities like this didn’t happen twice.
And still, something wilted inside her. The only person she wanted to celebrate this win with was Hayley.
“My fingers can’t type yes fast enough.” She let out a small giggle, hoping it would hide her underlying sadness. “I’m in if you are.”
“Ab-so-lutely,” Caitlin chirped.
“Me too!” Gemma shouted from somewhere in the background.
Ding-dong.
“Hold on, Cait, sorry, someone’s at my door.” Maddie grabbed the phone and brought the camera to eye level as she rose to her feet. “I’ll call you back.”
She walked through the foyer and turned the lock.
“Kim,” Maddie uttered, blinking in surprise. “What are you doing here?”
“Well, I would have called, but you made that kinda hard when you blocked me,” Kim quipped, raising a brow. “I heard you were back in town, and I wanted to see you.” When Maddie didn’t respond, Kim asked, “So, are you going to invite me in?”
Maddie hesitated, then stepped aside. She knew letting Kim in wasn’t smart, but even Kim’s presence softened the edge of her loneliness.
“Can I get you something to drink?” Maddie asked, unsure why she was opening the door wider—literally and otherwise.
“I’d love one.” Kim dropped onto Maddie’s couch, characteristically making herself at home. “So, how was New York? It’s too bad we never got to FaceTime again. Why did you block me, by the way?”
“It was great.” Maddie gathered the ingredients for martinis. She combined them in a stainless-steel shaker before pouring the mixture into two V-shaped glasses. “And I was just busy with wedding stuff.” It wasn’t a total lie. Plus, it felt too humiliating to tell Kim that she’d fallen in love, especially now that she had nothing to show for it.
Kim let the liquor slide down her throat in one long swallow, then set the empty glass on the coffee table. She turned toward Maddie on the couch, moving closer until she could ease one knee over Maddie’s lap, straddling her. Kim quietly took the other martini from her fingers, lifting the glass to Maddie’s lips until she had swallowed the last mouthful. Kim reached behind herself to place the second glass aside, nothing now separating them.
Kim leaned in, grazing her tongue up the side of Maddie’s neck. “I missed you,” she whispered, but Maddie didn’t reply. Her head was spinning.
Kim cupped Maddie’s face, kissing her with the urgency of lost time. Yet when their tongues met, she felt… nothing. No pricks of electricity traveling across her skin, no heat rushing to pool between her legs. Where there should have been a spark, there was only a hollow stillness.
Maddie gripped Kim’s waist and pushed her back, far enough to break the kiss.
“What’s wrong?” Kim asked, searching her face.
“I don’t want to do this anymore.” Maddie wiggled out from under Kim.
“I don’t think I heard you right.” Kim’s eyebrows knitted together, her mouth parting slightly.
“You did. I’m done. All we ever do is fuck to cover up the fact that we don’t even like each other.” Maddie was done being used and discarded. “I think you should go.”
Kim huffed in annoyance. “Call me whenever you’re done with…” She gestured vaguely. “Whatever this is.” She marched out, and when the front door slammed, the reverberating silence told Maddie she was alone once again.
She drew in a deep breath and poured another martini into her glass, proud to have finally gotten out from under Kim’s thumb. With a slow exhale, Maddie felt herself start to return, piece by piece.
A new lightness settled over her as she hit shuffle on her Spotify playlist. Music drifted through her speakers, filling her house with sound.
She froze mid-sip.
Céline Dion’s voice echoed throughout the room, the opening lines of “My Heart Will Go On” wrapping around Maddie like a cruel joke.
“Every night in my dreams
I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on.
