Page 4 of Stopping Short

We step through a doorway and the room erupts in cheers and shouts. I glance around smiling at all of our friends. There are streamers and a happy birthday sign hanging over a table with a big cake sitting in the center of it.

“What is this?” I glance up at Evan with a smile on my face.

“I wanted to give you a nice birthday. So many of these people will be leaving Pittsburgh soon, I thought it would be fun to have one more celebration.” He cups my cheek and stares down into my eyes. “I love you, Harper.”

My smile falters. We’ve never said those three little words to each other. Not once in the four years we’ve been dating off and on. I can’t do it. I can’t utter them when I don’t really feel them.

Though I’d never admit it, even to myself, Evan and I were never meant to stay together past college. He’s the man I knew I’d walk away from as soon as I left this chapter behind, and I was ok with that.

“Happy birthday!” Jennifer slams into my body and wraps me in a tight hug, giving me a second to breathe. A moment to compose myself and figure out how I'm supposed to respond to Evan. I won’t tell him I love him when I don’t think I do.

Don’t get me wrong, Evan’s a great guy, but I don’t picture a future with him. I can’t imagine waking up next to him every day for the rest of my life or seeing miniature versions of him running around our house. No, the man I imagine has an infectious smirk and the most gorgeous brown eyes with gold flecks I’ve ever seen. He has a way of murmuring my name that sends butterflies fluttering through my stomach. He’s the one I look forward to talking to and really hope I can see this weekend.

“Are you ok?” She whispers in my ear as she pretends she’s still hugging me. She’s really just giving me a chance to get my emotions back in check.

“He just told me he loves me,” I whisper.

“And you don’t feel the same.” Her words aren’t a question. She knows how I feel. She knows I wasn’t necessarily planning on continuing our relationship after we graduate. “Ummm… Harper? Why are Evan’s parents here?”

I pull out of her arms and follow her line of sight. Mr. and Mrs. Fodder are standing in the corner of the room with a few couples around their age. Most of them I don’t recognize, but some of them I do. Evan’s aunts and uncles are here and is that… his grandma?

“I don’t know,” I whisper. “I need your help, Jennifer.” I blindly reach for her arm.

“It’s ok! We’ll get through this together. I just need you to stay calm.” She glances around before she grabs me and practically drags me to the bathroom.

As soon as the door shuts behind us, she does that thing you see girls do in the movies all the time. She checks under each stall and makes sure no one is in here, then she leans against the door so no one can get in.

“Listen to me. You’re going to freak out, and I get that, but you can’t.”

“Do you know what’s going on?” I'm frantic as I stare at her.

“No… but maybe? A few weeks ago, Evan approached me and said he wanted to get you something special for your birthday. He played it off like it wasn’t a big deal, but now I'm thinking it was…” She trails off as she nibbles on her bottom lip.

“Spill it!” I hiss, my fingers clenching my skirt, digging into my thighs, as I try to stay calm.

“I think he might be planning on proposing to you tonight.” She winces as the silence stretches between us.

My mind spins with so many thoughts I can’t think straight. Every single one comes back to Evan and how I don’t want to marry him. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with him.

I wish it were Jackson about to propose.

The thought comes out of nowhere and slams me in the chest. I stumble back a few steps and catch myself on the sink. Spinning around, I face the mirror and hang my head.

This can’t be happening.

“Harper, talk to me,” Jennifer says softly.

“I can’t do this.” I know the words are coming out of my mouth, but the voice doesn’t even sound like my own. It sounds like a stranger. But maybe that’s the problem. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I don’t know what I want, only what I don’t want. And I don’t want Evan Fodder.

“Hey, you can’t run away.”

“So, what am I supposed to do?” I'm pleading with her to help me. To give me any ideas of what I can do to get out of this situation.

“Well, I only have one idea…”

Chapter 4

Jackson