Page 3 of Stopping Short

“I don’t know,” I groan, throwing a pillow towards her face. She dodges it at the last second, making me wish I had more things to hit her with.

“Well, it’s your birthday! The last one we might ever celebrate together in person!” She sticks out her bottom lip in a pout and stares at me. “C’mon, Harper. Let’s do something!”

“I don’t know.” I move my lips back and forth as I think.

“What’s holding you back? Normally you’d be all over this.”

“Jackson might come visit,” I whisper softly.

“Oh, please! That man isn’t coming to Pittsburgh. Not for your birthday weekend. They have a game every night. I actually thought of taking you home for a game, but I can’t. I have to babysit that Saturday morning. I promised Mrs. Mellan weeks ago and didn’t realize what day it was.”

“I know. I just miss him. I wish we didn’t live so far away from each other.”

“Well, what are you going to do after graduation?”

“I don’t know that either!”

“Do you know anything?” She smirks.

“No! I feel like I'm just going through the motions right now, but I don’t really know where life is taking me.”

“You need to take control and make some decisions!”

“Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” I roll my eyes as I stretch my arms over my head, then climb out of bed.

I need to apply for a few more jobs before I get ready for class. I hate having my future so up in the air, especially when college is coming to a close in a few short weeks. I don’t have much time to figure it all out and that’s making me anxious.

“Hey, sweetheart.” Evan tugs me into his arms and presses a quick kiss to my lips. We’re in the lobby of the restaurant and it’s a little more affection than I like to show in public.

We’ve been dating off and on since we started college. I met him on my first day of classes. We were both late for English because we couldn’t find the correct building. We ended up stumbling into the class twenty minutes late, laughing like we were having the time of our lives.

The professor did not appreciate the disruption we caused, but apparently, it’s a common occurrence for the freshmen to get lost finding their classes.

“Hey.” I smile up at him. “How was your day?”

“Better now that I have you in my arms.”

I hum a response. I like Evan, I really do, but I can’t stop thinking about Jackson and I don’t know why. The closer and closer I get to graduation, the more and more I think about him.

I can’t really explain it, but he’s where my mind keeps going. To a life with him. A family and a future with him by my side.

I’ve never really looked at Jackson as a man I could marry and start a family with, but all of a sudden, I am. I look forward to our calls every week. It’s all I think about.

It’s not that I’ve never been attracted to Jackson, because I'm pretty sure that I spent my entire childhood thinking he was the cutest boy on the face of the planet, and he’s only gotten more and more attractive as the years have gone by… I just thought our age gap was a little too big. Seven years is a lot.

But somehow seven years doesn’t seem like that much now that I'm in my twenties and I’m finishing college. It doesn’t feel like this big obstacle standing in between us anymore.

In the end, I'm not sure if Jackson will ever look at me like that. He’s never really flirted with me, but he’s always been a constant in my life. I’ve leaned on him more than anyone else. We share everything with each other and never worry about being judged or criticized. We can just be ourselves.

“C’mon, Harper. Everyone is over here.” Evan slips his hand into mine and pulls me towards the back of the restaurant.

I frown as I follow him. I thought we were just going out to celebrate my birthday. Alone.

Evan said he wanted to celebrate a week early since he wasn’t sure what I wanted to do on my actual birthday. He wanted to give me a special night out, just the two of us.

As I try my hardest to keep up with his long strides, I think about how when Jackson takes me somewhere, he always keeps a hand on the small of my back. He alters his stride to match mine and I never feel like I have to hurry.

Shaking my head, I try to focus on the here and now. Jackson’s five hours away from me and he’s not the person I'm spending my night with. Evan’s here and happy to see me. He’s celebrating my birthday with me and it’s horrible that I'm thinking about another man.