Page 118 of How We Began

His voice was light but I could sense the question was loaded.

“Yeah, we seem to be on track at the moment.” I like very much the track we are on.

“Lilah, I hope you don’t mind me being personal, but I've heard some rumours the last few days about you and Ben.”

Yeah, actually I do mind you being personal.

“Not at all Liam. What’s up?”

“Is it true that you’re pregnant?”

I spat my wine everywhere and then proceed to have a massive coughing fit. From the stage I could see Ben stop what he was doing and look over in my direction.

“Um, no, that is not true and it is also none of your business.”

“Well, it kind of is my business. You see, Ben’s the one who makes the band. If he doesn't go to America, then none of them do.”

Oh! Kick me whilst I am down, why don’t you?

“Not to worry, Liam. Ben’s still going, so you can rest assured that you’ll earn your money out of them.” My words were embarrassingly cruel. I don’t even know Liam to judge, but the slightest hint of someone messing with Ben and I had a territorial burn prickling down my back.

His gaze narrowed before he laughed and squeezed my arm. “I don’t give a shit about the money, Lilah. I’ve been with these guys for years. They deserve this break.”

“I know, Liam.” I stared into my wine for a long moment. “I know. I’m sorry. Of course he’s still going. We both know that this is ending.” I gestured to Ben on the stage and to myself.

“I’m sorry too, Lilah. I really like you. It’s just that he’d be crazy not to go.”

“I know! That is why I’m making him go, even though it is killing me.”

Liam let out a long breathe. “It sucks, but you’re doing the right thing by him. You’ve got to be the one who sees it through. I keep seeing this look in his eyes and it tells me he’ll quit it all at the first sign you give him that he should.”

Liam’s words slashed through me, tiny little stabs of despondency. Ben who was still running through the soundcheck, his foot hitting a pedal on the stage as he strummed the strings of his guitar, was engrossed in what he was doing. I could see him always doing it, could see the stages bigger, the crowds wilder. He’s a star that I’ve been gifted to touch, even if he won’t always be within my reach.

Jumping down from my stool I stalked for the stage. Ben watched me approach with growing trepidation on his face. With a leap I took the stairs two at a time and reached him in the middle of the stage, where I threw my arms around him and pulled him in as tight as I my arms would go. Our lips smashed together, always hungry and needy.

Eventually he pulled away, dancing blues staring at me. “What was that for?”

“Because I love you.”

“What?” he asked, face frozen. “What did you say?”

“I. Love. You.”

Later, once we were home, we snuggled up in bed, finally talking the truth to one another. Finally, and as much as an emotionally stunted moron I am, it does feel good. Better, I guess. Now he’s sleeping with that smile on his face, and I’m back to staring at him like a creepy stalker.

“So why do you love me?” Ben asked as he nibbled along my ear and jaw, making me squirm and not at all in a bad way.

“Because it’s as easy as breathing and feels like the most natural thing in the world.” My words so truthful and free, fluttered up into the sky.

In return, he kissed me properly. “I always knew, you know. That’s why I couldn’t believe that this wouldn’t eventually happen between us. This thing we have, Lilah. It’s something new and remarkable.”

I sent him a stink eye, not swayed by his heart-melting words. “You heard me tell Beth, didn’t you?”

He giggled.

God, I love his giggle.

“Yep, she knew I was there. I came home when you were at the bar buying drinks. She winked at me as I walked through. At first I didn’t understand, but then I heard you come back and the clink of bottles, so I sat there listening, knowing that she was going to lead you into a confession of some sort.”