Page 87 of Dissolving Prejudice

“That’s okay, Shay-Lee.”

“How can you say that?” I asked while rubbing the bridge of my nose. “I cheated, and I don’t even feel guilty over it—”

“But you do,” he cut in. “Or you wouldn’t have called me.” There was no judgment in his voice, just… care. “Guilt is merely the result of an act and a proof of conscience, darling. It’s also a distraction from the more important question, which is why you slept with him.”

“Because I wanted to…” I said. The moment I decided to leave my room and go see Camilo, there wasn’t a thing I wanted more.

“And do you regret doing it?”

Pressing my lips together, I looked down at the sand while trying to think of an answer. “I didn’t at first, but now… I think I do.” Until I saw those suitcases, there wasn’t a piece of me that regretted my decision. It was only after I learned Camilo had lied that I did. So my regret had nothing to do with the fact I’d cheated but because of my anger.

Tears gathered in the back of my throat, and I tried swallowing them. “I-I’m so selfish, Soren. So fucking selfish.”

“You have every right to be.”

“That’s bullshit.” My voice cracked, and I began crying. Embarrassed, I tried stifling my sobs, which was no use as my tears continued flowing down my cheeks.

“Do you want me to come there?” he asked, and somehow, I found it funny.

“Stop joking,” I said between sniffing.

“When have I ever made a joke?”

“You can’t come here. You’ve just been shot.”

“It happened weeks ago, and I feel good already.”

I pouted. “It takes two long fucking flights.”

“Nothing a good book or three couldn’t help me get through.”

That made me laugh, only it came out awkward and snotty, but at least it made me stop crying. Now, wiping away my tears, I looked up at the sky. My eyes burned, but it helped me ease my breath.

“You don’t need to come here.” I cleaned my nose. “I’m okay. I mean it.”

“I’m happy to hear that, but I just want you to know that I’m always here for you, and no matter what, you’re not alone, Shay-Lee. I know it might feel otherwise at times, but please believe me that I’m here.”

Soren had always told me that, and while there were moments I felt lonely, thanks to him, I truly wasn’t alone—not anymore.

“Sometimes I wish you were my dad instead of him,” I said, not sure why. When Soren stayed silent for a moment, I could almost imagine his expression. He’d probably have a crease between his pinched brows before he pursed his lips.

“We can’t change the past, Shay-Lee.”

“I know, I know… But just think about how different I could have been.”

“I think you’re astonishing as you are, and there isn’t a thing I’d change in you. Just look at how much you’ve accomplished in the past few years.”

I snorted because I’d literally just fucked it all up.

“But I cheated.”

“So?”

“So?” I laughed. “Are you serious?”

“Of course I am.”

“But it’s wrong.”