Page 88 of Dissolving Prejudice

“It is, but we all make mistakes, and we all cross lines that shouldn’t be crossed. The question is, for what reason? If love made you go to Diesel, perhaps it’s not the wrong decision.”

Wrong decision. That was another thing.

“But it’s not just that…” I gathered a bit of sand in my palm and slowly let it slip between my fingers, my eyes watching the grains falling and creating a small pile. “I’m just so scared of making more mistakes, Soren.”

He stayed silent for a moment, and I felt anxious that I might have said something wrong when he finally spoke.

“Have I ever told you how scared I was about having children?”

Since he never had, I stopped playing with the sand and straightened up. “No. You didn’t.”

“Well, I was terrified.” He chuckled. “I always assumed that I’d be a terrible parent, given what happened to me, and for many years, I denied that possibility. Not only from myself but from Ashton, too.” He took a small pause as if saying that hurt him. “The last few months before June came, I was sure I’d ruin everything, and the thought scared me to death. But no matter how much I doubted myself, her coming into this world was inevitable, and you know what? She and Cyrus are the greatest gifts I’ve ever embraced, and being a father is a privilege I never thought a selfish man such as myself deserved. But I did deserve it, Shay-Lee. But not just me. Ashton, too. We deserved to be happy with our children, no matter how much my fears told me otherwise for years.”

Now I felt like crying again, not because of sadness but because of how melting his words were. “You’ll make me cry again, asshole.”

“Crying is okay, too,” he chuckled but then sorted himself back together. “But please think about what I just told you, okay? Because despite what you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy. May the consequences be damned.”

I couldn’t help but smile. “You are so shameless, Soren.”

“Hardly. I’m simply a realist.”

“Well, whatever you are, I fucking miss you, and we’re going to our favorite restaurant when I’m back.” There was this small bistro that offered great wine that we visited at least once a week.

“Deal.”

“Tell Ash I said hello and that Jessie still hasn’t broken any limbs.”

Soren laughed and promised to do that before hanging up. And while I hadn’t exactly told him about everything that happened with Camilo, I did share enough to make me feel better. Now, ready to go back to my room, I got up. But before I left, I stopped to glance at the ocean. It was a night exactly like this, with the moon and stars shining in the dark sky, when Camilo asked me to marry him. I moved my hand to my neck and closed my eyes, remembering how he put his mother’s chain around it while telling me I was the only family he needed. Despite my rage, the idea of belonging to him still burned through my core. I couldn’t recall the last week before my attack, including the attack itself, but thankfully, that night I did remember, and I’d cherish it forever, even if our promise to marry each other back then would never come true.

Shay-Lee

Parking at our garage, I unbuckled myself and killed the engine yet stayed seated inside the still car. I’d had one hell of a day at work, and exhausted, I needed a moment for myself. Since returning home from Thailand two weeks ago, I’d buried myself with work. It was much better than being at home and, well, facing Jordan. While we hadn’t talked about what happened in Thailand, I still felt bad about it. Thankfully, he never brought it up.

In the morning following our fight and my sleeping with Camilo, we acted as if nothing ever happened. I suspected Jordan knew I didn’t spend that night in our suite, but he was kind enough not to ask me about it. Or maybe he wasn’t kind at all and just chose to look the other way. Denial was a real thing in our case, and I was happy about it. The truth was, never knowing how to live by myself, I preferred being with someone over being alone, and since I had no plan to go back to Camilo after what he did, Jordan was my best option. And speaking of the devil, after almost two weeks of silence, Camilo finally chose today to text me.

Opening my phone, I looked at the single message he sent me once more.

Impudent bastard: Can we meet up?

My eye twitched with rage just as it did the first time I read that lame-ass text this morning. This man sure had nerves. Asking to meet up? Yeah, right. Asshole. How about starting with apologizing for being the biggest jerk on this freaking planet? I swear to God, sometimes I wanted to kill this man with my own two hands. Not in the mood to get pissed again, I tossed my phone into my bag and got out of the car. Already knowing Jordan would be home, given the fact his car was in the garage, I wasn’t surprised to see him in the living room.

“Hey, babe,” he said, not tearing his eyes off the TV.

“Hey,” I answered while walking straight to the kitchen so I could grab something to drink. Placing my bag on the marble island, I noticed two empty mugs of coffee. “Was someone here?”

Jordan paused his show before half turning to look at me. “Yeah, my friend Dylan.”

I frowned. “Seriously?” Since Jordan always talked about this friend “Dylan” without showing any proof of his existence, I’d begun to think Dylan was an imaginary friend. Good to know he wasn’t…

“Yeah, he left not so long ago.”

“You should have told me he came over. I would have come earlier,” I said, pulling the orange juice out of the fridge. Picking up a glass, I placed it on the counter and filled it up. By now, Jordan had moved to stand by me.

“Well, I didn’t want to bother you. Besides, you could always meet him some other time.”

“I guess.” I took a sip when I noticed something in the corner of my eye. “What are those?”

“Oh, the architect sent us the final design for the pool area after he made the adjustments you asked for.”