Page 164 of Forgotten Prejudice

“I guess it’s just hard.” I moved my hand to rest against Kai’s chest, softly caressing my fingers along the fabric of his shirt. Touching him was supposed to be a distraction, nothing more. “When he left, it felt like I’d lost one of my kids. I know they aren’t mine.” A small smile spread on my lips just with the thought of them. “But it sure feels like it sometimes.”

“Aww, that’s sweet,” he said, bursting my bubble with his words. He then covered my hand with his. “But kids always leave at some point, and let’s face it, Diesel is all grown up.”

“I guess you’re right,” I mumbled, even though it didn’t feel like it.

“Speaking of kids, Zoe talked with me. She wants to come for a visit next month with Paris, what do you think?”

Oh God, for a while, I almost forgot she existed. “You should spend time with them; they’re your family, but I don’t think I have the mental capacity to handle her or anyone else right now, Kai. The trial just ended.”

“You’re my family, Ashy.” He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. “And you’re right. The trial ended, meaning it’s time for us to move forward.” He flashed me a toothy smile that I wanted to punch off his face.

But I didn’t and instead allowed him to keep holding on to my hand.

“The other guys are also grown up. You realize they’re not the same troubled kids you picked up four or five years ago?”

“I didn’t pick them up, Kai. They aren’t stray dogs.” I withdrew my hand from him, but he quickly grabbed me again and pulled my body close.

“I know, I know.” He chuckled while kissing my cheek. “I was just joking. You know that, right?”

I usually admired Kai’s ability to joke in tough situations. Now wasn’t one of those times. He didn’t make me feel better and, instead, dismissed my emotions. The worst part? He was too dense to get it. Or maybe he wasn’t oblivious and simply didn’t care?

“You need to shower,” I said, placing my arm between us and pushing him away. “You’re all sweaty.”

“So why not join me?” He tried pulling me with him, but I stepped back.

“Nah, I’m not in the mood.”

“Oh, come on,” he tried again, as he often did, and I rolled my eyes.

“I’ll take Pacha for a walk. You go ahead.”

He grunted, took off his sweaty shirt, and tossed it at me. Too tired, I didn’t even bother to dodge it.

“Fine, I’ll go jerk off by myself. You’re welcome to join if you change your mind.” He grinned, already getting rid of his pants.

Usually, I’d find his offer tempting, as I loved watching him get off, but now, sex was the last thing on my mind. Once Kai closed the bathroom door behind him, I looked at the corner of my room, where Pacha’s bed was placed. My baby was getting old, and he spent most of his time sleeping.

“Come here, boy. Let’s go for a walk.”

“You’re tired, aren’t you?” I asked Pacha as I strolled slowly by his side. He used to make me run after him on the beach, but that was a long time ago. Now, he moved like an old man. I knew that one day, I’d have to say goodbye, but thankfully, that day wasn’t today, and for now, I just walked at his pace and took a break whenever he needed it. It was also why I took him on walks alone from time to time. Pooh and Puma were much younger, and I’d hate for Pacha to hurt himself while trying to keep up.

I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him, just as I wasn’t ready to part ways with Diesel or any of the other kids. If it were up to me, they would all stay with me forever. But that was a selfish thought, wasn’t it? After all, at some point, they needed their freedom. I’d left Mom’s home pretty early on and moved in with Soren. Now, I could understand why she got so mad. It wasn’t just because she didn’t like him—although her hate for him didn’t help—but because it was hard for her.

Being alone is hard.

Pacha suddenly lifted his head up and wiggled his butt in a way he hadn’t done for weeks. So overwhelmed with happiness over seeing him so lively, it escaped me to check what caused his excitement. By the time I lifted my head up to check, Soren was already right before us.

“My God, did he grow old.” He smiled, bending down to pet Pacha, who clearly remembered him. It was like watching Pacha turn into a puppy again, all too eager to lick and kiss Soren.

“He missed you,” I said with a huge smile glued to my face, unable to hide the sudden joy that overtook me. Getting down on one knee beside them, I also began petting Pacha. I moved my fingers along his fur until they met Soren’s, and we both stopped to look at each other. He was smiling; some creases that weren’t there before only added to his handsome face, making him sexier. And while everything about him was familiar, the softness in his eyes didn’t remind me of the old days because it was brand-new. I didn’t know if it was due to him finally opening up to me or because, suddenly, my anger from back then had almost vanished, but I, too, saw him through a whole new perspective. I felt like we were finally equal and in the right place to fully endure the other. The only problem was… we weren’t together.

“What are you doing here?” I asked as we both rose to our feet.

“Oh, that’s right.” He cleaned his slacks from the sand. “I came to ask Diesel to sign some papers. I hope that’s alright.”

And just like that, reality flew back in.

“Actually, Diesel isn’t here.”