Page 163 of Forgotten Prejudice

“I didn’t ask you to do that.”

Wow.

“But we did anyway.” Andrei’s voice broke at the same time my heart did. “We fought for you to come back to us, and now you want to leave?”

Diesel didn’t answer, and when I saw Andrei was about to charge after him again, I reached forward and wrapped my arm around him.

“W-What are you doing?” Andrei asked me, unshed tears in his furious eyes. “He’s getting away!”

I understood his pain. Fuck that, I felt it in my bones, but at the same time, I chose to stay true to my words. I promised to respect Diesel’s choices no matter how hard they would be, and that was exactly what I was doing right now.

“It’s his right to do whatever he wants, Andrei.”

“Fuck that,” Andrei snapped and released himself from my hold, then took a few steps forward. “What about Shay-Lee?” It seemed as if his scream finally reached Diesel because he stopped walking.

For a moment, I thought that Andrei had managed to reach him, but then Diesel half turned to look at us over his shoulder.

“I’m done with him, too.”

Diesel’s words were so cold, said without an inch of remorse while he stared at us through dark eyes that left no place for his soul. He then turned around and moved on. I flinched, my throat turning dry with fear. Yes, he was free, but I couldn’t help but think that a part of him had stayed in prison.

His heart.

“W-What?” Andrei gasped, mostly to himself, while waving his hand in Diesel’s direction. “Are you just going to let him leave?” he urged me, eyes begging. I hated to disappoint him, but what other choice did we have?

“He’s free to do whatever he wants,” I told Andrei.

“Bullshit!” he spat out. “That’s bullshit!”

“I know,” I said, my hand resting on his shoulder and squeezing him tight. “I know it’s bullshit, but it’s what he’s choosing to do. If Diesel is done with us, then it’s his choice, Andrei, whether we like it or not.”

Biting his lip and grinding his jaw, Andrei squeezed his eyes shut. A single tear fell down his cheek, and my heart ached for his loss. Our loss. But we had no right to decide what Diesel should do with his life. We’d fought for his freedom and won; now, it was up to him.

Andrei cleaned his nose and turned back around just in time to see Diesel climbing on a bus that had stopped at the nearby bus stop. He didn’t glance back at us, and we didn’t get the chance to say goodbye before he rode off and left his old life behind.

Did I see this coming? Of course not, and I felt like I’d just lost a son, but for an entirely different reason. Diesel had every right to leave and move forward with his life. But the look in his eyes after Andrei mentioned Shay-Lee’s name broke me. For years, I avoided getting too close to Diesel because of fear. I never realized what it was that made me so fearful of him until he looked at us with those sad eyes, and for the first time, I saw what it was that made me so easily rebuff him in the past.

Regret.

His eyes were a pitch-black vortex full of regret, and whenever I was met with those dark pits, it forced me to face my own regrets. Never being one to face his problems headfirst, I did the same thing I always did—turned the other way. Only with Diesel, it was impossible to look away, and perhaps that was why he finally left.

Ash

“You didn’t go after him?” Kai asked as soon as I closed the door to my bedroom behind us.

After Andrei and I returned home without Diesel, we had to explain what had happened. Jess, Levi, and Kai were all confused, and while they had many questions, I didn’t have any answers. Kai had seemed bothered from the second we told him the news, and so he dragged me into my room the first chance he had. I half expected him to try and cheer me up, but now, he sounded… angry?

“No, Kai, I didn’t go after him.” I frowned. “Why do you sound angry?”

Kai walked further into the room, his fingers running through his loose hair. “I’m not angry. Fuck.” He sighed, then turned to face me. “I’m just worried that you’ll end up regretting this decision, too.”

Why? Because I might have made a huge-ass mistake and allowed Diesel to vanish to who knew where and get himself into a new mess? I mean, what if he got into some fight and got stabbed again? What then? Who would help him—

“Oh, fuck, Ashy,” Kai sighed and crossed the room until he had me in his tight embrace. “I didn’t mean to scare you.” He kissed the top of my head, not that it gave me much comfort.

“What if something happens to him?”

Still hugging me close, he spoke. “Then it will no longer be our responsibility, Ashy. I mean, if D decided to be on his own…” He slumped his shoulders. “Then I guess there’s nothing we can do about it.” Pulling back a bit so we’d face each other, Kai smiled at me. And despite the comfort he tried providing me with, I still felt as if I stood in the middle of a storm.