Page 93 of Unexpected Prejudice

“What?”

I closed the tablet before I handed it back to Jessie, ignoring the shock on his face.

“It’s not nearly as good as your other works, and who’s that new character, anyway? Besides, you spent all day working on it instead of studying for your history test.” Knowing how pitiful I sounded didn’t stop me from waving at the book pile on our bed. “You know better than to waste your time on drawing when you need to do actual work.”

Waste your time on drawing? What a terrible thing to say, and so untrue. Drawing wasn’t a waste of time, but I was angry and hurt. Unable to tell him that, I chose the cowardly way and took my anger out on him.

“It isn’t a waste of time. I’ll study later.” With a trembling voice, he cracked his knuckles. He always did it while nervous.

“We both know you won’t.” Stop it, Levi, stop talking. “You never do. And now you’re going to fail that test.”

A weak smile broke his lips. “B-but you can help me study for it again if I fail.”

“I can’t,” I declared, moving toward my desk and examining the books and papers waiting for me. “I have too much work of my own to help you whenever you’re slipping. Learn to be more responsible.” I was thankful he was facing my back because I was too ashamed of myself to look at him.

I sat behind my desk and opened the first book I could grab when Jessie stepped behind me.

“What’s wrong?”

I flipped to a random page. “Nothing.”

“I can see that something is bothering you. Tell me what’s wrong. I can help.”

He touched my shoulder, and right then, I knew I had two options. The first would be to come clean, and to admit how I truly felt. I could open up and say how hurt I was that he wanted to have a threesome in the first place. I could admit how angry I was for allowing it and how terrified I was he’d leave me. But admitting all of that would be submitting to my emotions, my weakness. The only reason Jessie wanted to be with me in the first place was my resilience.

Jessie wasn’t with me because I was fun, sexy, or handsome. No. I was dull, boring, and most definitely not attractive. I was nothing like Jordan, with his fit body and tall figure. Let alone the sex. Sex with me was probably an unpleasant task for Jessie. Being fucked by a guy who was too afraid to bottom for him, even after almost three years of dating.

He was with me because he could rely on me. I fooled him enough into believing I was strong. So instead, I ruled out the option of giving in to my emotions and chose the other by pushing his hand away from me.

“You can help by leaving me alone. I need to study.”

Flipping another page in my book, I tried to ignore the weak sob that broke from his throat. Great, Levi, you made him cry.

“Okay… I’ll give you some space.”

It was probably the first time I’d asked that of him, and it scared me. This whole thing was about not wanting him to push me away and, in the end, I was the one doing the exact thing to him.

Jessie

“What are you doing?” Jordy asked as he stood over me and shielded me from the sun.

“Looking at the clouds,” I answered. “I think this cloud looks like an eggplant.” I pointed to the eggplant cloud I’d been staring at for the last ten minutes before I pushed up on my elbows.

Sitting down beside me, Jordy looked up at the sky. “It looks like a dick.”

“Oh shit, it really does.”

“Where’s Levi?” His question had me checking the time on my phone. Levi was late for our normal meet-up time for lunch.

“I guess he’s still at the library.”

After class ended, he said he had some books to pick up. I wanted to go with him, but he’d told me it was better if I grabbed us lunch so we’d save time. I got us a grilled cheese sandwich and some Greek yogurt.

Deciding it was better to check where he was, I shot him a text.

Me: WHERE ARE YOU? *Monkey emoji*

“I just texted him,” I told Jordy as I put my phone down and looked at him.