Page 69 of The Best Ex of My Life

I reach forward and take her hand. ‘I hate that I hurt you. It will never happen again, and I promise you nothing’s going to happen with Elliot.’

For the first time since I arrived, a flash of anger crosses Teddy’s face. ‘No, don’t you do that. You don’t get to use this as an excuse not to be with him. You don’t get to hide behind me.’

My head jerks back in surprise. ‘I’m not.’

She pulls her hand away. ‘Lizzie, you’ve spent your whole friendship with Elliot coming up with reasons not to be with him, and I won’t be another.

‘You know what I think? I think you’re in love with him, and you’re so scared by that, by the prospect of him being everything, you’d rather tell yourself it can’t happen than face up to the possibility that it could. I can forgive you for everything else, but if you make me part of that, I won’t forgive you for it. It’s time to face up to this, Lizzie. All of it.’

Chapter 29

The next morning, Teddy sends a message about an article she read about Ariana Grande’s exercise regime and our group chat springs back into life. Karina wastes no time telling us how glad she is we’re speaking again because we’re all due to visit a wedding venue on Saturday afternoon she’s seen on Instagram, and she didn’t have a clue how she’d cope without her two bridesmaids being there to help her work out if it’s the place where she wants to get married.

It turns out the venue is every bit as spectacular as it appears on Insta – if we don’t look down. There’s Sistine Chapel-esque art on the ceilings, sparkling chandeliers and classical paintings – aptly of couples in love – displayed in heavy gold frames. It’s when our eyes travel below waist height that the problems begin. The large, round wooden tables filling the space have seen better days, some of them wonky, some heavily marked. Almost every one of the white chair covers is stained, and the carpet is more battered old pub than beautiful old wedding venue. The gaudy design does nothing to disguise the dark spots where alcohol has been spilt, and the smell of beer emanating from it is so strong it must have been doused in the stuff. When I step on to it, I’m sure it’s going to squelch.

‘Wow,’ Karina says, bypassing the many, many issues the room has in order to walk over to the floor-to-ceiling windows at the end of the room, which overlook the lake. ‘This is perfect.’

Teddy and I exchange a look and swiftly move over to join her before she ends up booking the venue there and then with Louise, the receptionist who has been showing us around sub-par hotel rooms and the two other dingy function rooms Lakeview Country Club has to offer.

‘Easy there, tiger,’ Teddy says quietly, so Louise won’t hear us. ‘I’ll admit the view is nice, but we’re far off perfect, here. Can’t you smell the place? Do you really want to take off your wedding dress after you’re married and be hit with the smell of gone-off ale?’

‘Well, no,’ Karina admits.

‘No, you don’t. You deserve somewhere with a nice view and a carpet that’s been cleaned since the nineties.’

‘But—’ Karina objects, pointing to the view.

We all look out at the glittering lake and the rolling Cheshire hills gently rising behind it. It’s the exact view that drew Karina in when she saw it online. If you could guarantee a perfect summer’s day, where the wedding could take place outside and guests could meander by the shore and a marque could be set up, Karina’s right, it would be perfect. Only we’re in North West England where good weather can never be guaranteed, and you’d be as likely to be holed up inside on a summer’s day in July as you would in the middle of winter.

I take Karina’s shoulders and turn her back around, so her view is of the function room we’ve walked through. She shakes her head and, as expected, the spell is broken.

‘You’re right. This isn’t the place,’ she says, deflated.

‘Don’t worry. It’s the first one you’ve seen. There are going to be so many better places than this. You’ll find somewhere you love inside and out. I promise. Shall we go?’

We manage to get past Louise and the brochures she keeps trying to thrust on to Karina and step back out into the warm spring Saturday afternoon.

‘What do you want to do now?’ Teddy asks.

‘Quick walk round the lake before we need to go?’ I suggest. We’re due at Mum’s this evening for the first BBQ of the year. When Mum suggested it, I wasn’t sure if it was too much, but both Karina and Teddy said they’d love to come straightaway. Even so, I want to catch Teddy alone, to make sure she’s really fine with me extending the day’s plans, and I get my chance when Karina rings Matthew to tell him it’s a good job he was working today and couldn’t come and see his potential wedding venue, as it’s a dive.

‘Are we OK?’ I ask. Teddy’s seemed fine with me all day, and she’s done a pretty good job of acting like nothing’s happened in front of Karina, but I need to check.

‘We’re fine. We’ve never let a man get between us, and I’ve no intention of starting now. Which makes it even more important that you realise I meant what I said about you not having me as a reason you and Elliot aren’t together.’

‘I won’t,’ I tell her honestly.

Karina finishes her call, and we head for the lake. We don’t walk far. As soon as we cross the manicured lawn to get to the lake’s edge, Teddy plonks herself on the grass, stretches out her legs, points her face up to the sun, and Karina and I do the same.

‘God, this is nice,’ Teddy says, her eyes scrunched closed and a smile on her face as the heat from the sun reaches us. ‘After the last few weeks, I could do with lying on a beach doing nothing for a month, but this will have to do.’

Her eyes flick to me, and I look away guiltily. By some miracle she might have forgiven me, but it’s going to take a while for me not to feel awful about what I did.

‘It’s not getting better?’ Karina asks, presuming she means work.

‘No. Not at all.’

‘I can’t believe you’re still there.’