Page 70 of The Best Ex of My Life

‘Actually, I’m not. I quit. Or, more precisely, I told Ed to shove his poxy job up his arse.’

‘You did?’ I ask, amazed.

‘Thank fuck for that,’ Karina says, pulling her into a hug, and I join them. Teddy puts her arms round us both and laughs as Karina and I cheer.

‘Finally,’ I say after we’ve released Teddy. ‘I’ve been waiting to hear you say that for months now. Have you found something else?’

Her eyes rest on me, and she looks a little uneasy which I don’t understand at all.

‘Not quite. But I do have this idea I’m getting excited about, thanks to you, Lizzie.’

‘Me?’

‘Yeah. I’ve been thinking a lot recently about your plan.’ She gives me a knowing look, and I feel my cheeks colour. ‘Jordan and you were hardly a love of the ages, nor were me and Elliot, but it did work.’

‘Did it?’

‘Of course it did. Look where we are now,’ she says, her hand motioning to the view. ‘We’re looking at wedding venues for Karina and Matthew, who have found love, and that’s because of your idea.’

‘I guess so,’ I say. ‘But what’s that got to do with selling houses?’

Teddy laughs. ‘Nothing at all, you dope, but it has everything to do with my new idea. Turns out, I’m not sure my ambition is to sell houses, after all. I think I want to work for myself, to build something on my own and to make a success of it. If you’re OK with it, I’d really like to use your idea for a new dating app.’

She smiles at Karina, who nods and urges Teddy to go on, and I realise I’m the only one hearing about this for the first time today.

‘I thought I could call it My Best Ex. It wouldn’t be another random app full of strangers that you scroll through and swipe for based on a few pictures and whatever details about themselves they can be arsed to give, but an app in which people can recommend the people they’ve been out with, where they can vouch for them being great and genuine and not idiots who profess to wanting to find love but only want to find their latest conquest.’

‘That’s interesting. But do you really think people would bother to recommend people they’ve been out with? Would you?’

‘One hundred per cent. It would be the person wanting to go on to the app who would do the work, they’d just have to ask an ex to recommend them, to write a few lines to say what they were like when they went out. It’s kind of a pay-it-forward idea, for those dates or relationships that don’t work out, but not because of anything the person did, just because you’re not compatible. What do you think?’

‘I think it sounds wonderful. But where would you even start?’

‘That’s where Karina comes into it,’ she says. ‘Karina reckons a client of hers can help me develop the app, and she would score brownie points for bringing me in as a customer for them, so it’s a win, win. I’ve got some money already put aside, and I’ll need a loan for the rest, but I think it can be done.’

‘Does Ed have a clue what you’re doing? He wouldn’t make it hard for you, would he, now you’ve told him to shove his job?’

‘Oh, I don’t think poor Ed will have much free time to make anything hard for me. As well as quitting, I also made sure to tell Ellory Mackenzie about the viewing he gave you two and what a misogynistic pig he was, so she’s dropped him and called him out on her social media. And I might have given her names of his best clients so she can tag them and make sure they find out how awful he is too.’

‘Oh my God, I love you,’ Karina says, throwing her arms around her again.

‘You approve, then?’ Teddy asks, turning to me.

‘Of course I do. It’s a wonderful idea. You’re going to make it such a success.’

This is perfect for Teddy. It’s the leap she needed, and I’m beyond happy she’s taken it. I give her another hug, squeezing her tightly, so glad I still get to do that, and I get to stick around to see her come back to herself. ‘I am so proud of you.’

‘And I’m so ready to get to your mum’s house and sit in the sun eating burnt sausages,’ she says once I’ve let her go. ‘Shall we go, Kar?’

Karina looks back at the country club one last time. ‘Yeah, definitely.’

Mum surpasses herself by having an array of salads and only a little bit of burnt food on one plate laid out for us when we arrive. Karina and Teddy fuss around her, telling her how great everything looks and how nice it is to be here. Teddy tells Mum her idea for the app, and Mum asks practical question after practical question before declaring it a cracking idea that she knows will work out. We eat the delicious food and declare it the best BBQ we’ve ever had.

‘We’ll have to get you on My Best Ex app when it’s up and running, Stella,’ Teddy says when the sun’s disappeared and we have come inside to warm up in the lounge.

‘No, love. That’s not for me.’

‘Why not? There’s no reason why you can’t meet someone amazing. Especially if you use Teddy’s app,’ Karina adds, but Mum shakes her head.