Page 52 of Bless This Hot Mess

“We have a lawyer?!” Rebekkah exclaimed, her hands flying to her mouth in excitement.

Japheth nodded, still in shock, “We have a lawyer. And he called me Japet. Which could be a cute pet name. Japet…” He tried it out a few times and found he didn’t like it. “I’ll put together a few suggestions for him. Oh! Should we call Emma-Lou, Carrington, and Suwarna?”

Rebekkah was already bouncing in place, “Yes, they’ll be dying to know. Eek! Sorry, bad choice of words.”

Japheth, still grinning, pulled out his cell phone again and started dialling. His fingers moved quickly across the keypad, the beeps sounding almost musical in their urgency.

The phone rang at WWJD radio station, and Carrington, ever the sharp receptionist, picked up almost immediately, there being very few calls to answer in a day, “WWJD, What Would Jesus Do? And what can I do foryoutoday?”

Japheth didn’t waste a second, “Carrington! It’s Trinity. We have news.”

Carrington’s voice perked up, “Is it good?”

“We bring good news!” Japheth announced, practically buzzing with excitement.

“Tidings of comfort and joy!” Rebekkah chimed in, sing-songing the words with her usual flair.

Carrington clicked their tongue, the tone of their voice shifting to professional intrigue, “I’ll patch through to Emma-Lou. Please hold.” The line went quiet for a moment and then an aggressive, almost menacing Gregorian chant blasted through the phone’s speaker.

After a few ominous bars of chanting, Emma-Lou picked up; her voice as no-nonsense as ever, “Emma-Lou Burns…”

The intercom buzzed, and Suwarna’s voice cut in before Emma-Lou could say anything further, “I’m here, too. I thought you’d want the head of HR on this call.”

Emma-Lou sighed audibly, “Suwarna, are you onallof my calls?”

Suwarna responded calmly and carefully, like she was placating a child, “For your own… safety. We can’t be too cautious. Especially considering your possibledisappearance.”

Emma-Lou let out an exasperated sigh, her tone softening just a little, “Oh! Good thinking!”

Suwarna’s voice broke through again, “Japheth, Ronald, Rebekkah, I understand you bring tidings of comfort and joy?”

Carrington, never one to miss a beat, jumped in with a teasing edge, “Suwarna, are you on allmycalls, too?”

“Not all your calls, Carrington,” Suwarna replied smoothly. “I’d never get all my other work done. Half the time, you don’t pick up, and the calls just go to voicemail, so I’d say the other half of the calls, the ones you do pick up, yes, I’m monitoring them. For your safety.”

“Thank… you?” Carrington muttered, sounding less than thrilled. “I’m sweating right through my silk. Don’t keep us in suspense! Is Emma-Lou going to die or not? Sorry, disappear? Is one worse?”

Emma-Lou let out an exaggerated groan, “One is definitely worse, Carrington! One is immediate, and the other just drags on. Japheth, I could use that good news.”

Japheth took a deep breath, his chest puffing up slightly with pride, “Hi Emma-Lou. Without further ado, we have an open runway and an all-clear from a real legal eagle to boot-up our radio show and take Trinity to the airwaves!”

Emma-Lou’s voice cut through, her tone brightening, “And you can make Christian covers?”

Japheth’s grin widened, “We can steal andsample for the Lord!”

There was a commotion as Rebekkah eagerly snatched the phone from Japheth, “Yes! We’re totally good to go. Micah, our lawyer who is literally dressed in credentials, said it’s all legit. Well, he wasn’t literally dressed. He was shirtless, but there were a lot of credentials. So, Christian covers, here we come!”

There was a pause on the other end, and then the buzz of Suwarna’s intercom in the background. She chimed in, sharp as ever, “Hold up. Shirtless lawyer? Did I miss something?”

There was a pause as that sunk in, and then Carrington let out a low whistle, “Well, hallelujah. This Monday morning just got interesting.”

Suwarna pressed forward, clinical and composed, “As head of HR, I’ll need his contact info, purely for verification purposes of his… credentials as you say. Shirtlessness aside, we’re not taking any legal chances.”

Emma-Lou drew in a breath, as though bracing for impact, “So, we’re really doing this, aren’t we? If there’s nothing standing in our way, Trinity is going to go live on WWJD. And the sooner the better.”

“To avoid any disappearances,” Suwarna agreed.

Japheth leaned in, taking the phone back from Rebekkah, “Absolutely, Emma-Lou. We have an open runway, no legal turbulence, and Trinity’s about to take flight. We’ve even got the blessing of Jesus Himself. He, uh, pointed us to the billboard!”