Page 122 of The Mismatch

‘Can we talk after?’

‘I suppose.’

‘Soraya, please.’

She turned again, gritting her teeth. ‘We can talk next week.’ She had no intention of meeting up with him.

‘You’re only saying that,’ Magnus said.

‘I said I would, why would I lie?’

‘I know you, Soraya. I know you like to think I don’t, but I do.’ Again, the soft voice. ‘Please, have a drink with me after the launch, or let me walk you to the bus stop. I just want to talk.’

‘Fine, whatever, OK. I have to go now.’

She went downstairs, drink in hand, sneaking back to her seat in the front row. She felt embarrassed to be coming in during a reading. Priya and Oliver gave her questioning looks and she shook her head, her face still flushed from the surprise of her past coming back to haunt her.

CHAPTER 58

Soraya

London, 2015

The evening was a blur of congratulations. Strangers and friends came over to Soraya, Priya and Oliver, asking questions, informing them which piece resonated with them the most, and they felt high from every interaction. They had actually pulled it off. They took turns to stand behind the table selling copies of the journal. When it was Soraya’s turn a girl walked over to her. She looked at the girl, blonde, slim and beautiful, and felt misgivings. When did she become so jaded?

‘I wanted to say I loved your piece,’ the girl said, her voice only just audible over the RnB music and chatter. ‘My mum is in a similar situation and it was nice to be able to hear someone else talk about what it’s like. Well, I don’t mean “nice”, but you know what I mean.’

The words washed over Soraya and her posture softened. ‘I’m sorry to hear that,’ she said, awkwardly. She still didn’t know what to say to people who said they were in a similar position to her; she didn’t yet have the vocabulary down. The girl clenched her fists and held them slightly behind herself. That too Soraya could relate to. ‘It’s shit, isn’t it?’ she said, finding the words she would want someone to say to her.And perhaps that’s what she needed to do – not give apologies for someone else’s behaviour or say dismissive things such as ‘I’m sorry’. It’s shit that people get addicted to substances, and there’s not always a great deal more to say about it.

‘I’d like to buy one,’ the girl said, handing Soraya the money.

‘Yeah, sure.’ She took the money in exchange for a copy. ‘Thank you.’

A brunette came up behind the girl, placed her hands around her waist and gave her a smile. ‘Great publication,’ she said to Soraya. The blonde girl seemed visibly to relax and smiled at the new arrival.

‘You made me jump,’ she said, her voice breathless but happy all the same. To see that this girl had someone in her life made Soraya smile.

‘If you ever want to talk about what you said, send me an email. It’s on the first page,’ Soraya said.

‘I will. My name is Kate, by the way.’

‘I’m Soraya. I hope you enjoy reading the journal.’

When Kate left Soraya exhaled, but also felt a weight on her shoulders in the familiar form of Magnus Evans, looming in one corner of the room. Seeing that she was on her own, he walked over to her.

‘Hi,’ he said.

‘Hi,’ she said back.

‘Can I buy a copy?’

‘Of course. That’ll be six pounds.’ He handed her a ten-pound note, and when she took it their hands brushed against each other. She was careful to hand him his change bydropping the pound coins into his palm, to prevent any further touching.

‘Can you sign it for me?’ He opened it up to her piece, and she couldn’t tell if he was joking.

She laughed.

‘I’m serious,’ he said, pulling a pen out of his backpack.