Page 81 of Island Girl

Ray had been stable for so long. He’d been coming to Shorebirds for years, but it was only two years he’d gone without an incident, where he’d sit in that quiet corner with an untouched glass of Jameson. It wasn't healing, exactly, but it was routine. It was predictable. It was something she could count on.

Now even that was gone.

She sat on her porch with her coffee growing cold in her hands, watching the morning light spread across the yard. The house was quiet around her. She'd bought this place ten years ago, after her divorce from Joseph, and she'd filled it with plantsand books and all the things that brought her comfort. But none of it felt comforting now.

She picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts until she found the name she was looking for.

Julie Maguire.

They hadn't spoken in over a year. The last time had been Christmas, a brief and awkward phone call where they'd exchanged pleasantries and carefully avoided talking about Ray. Before that, there had been sporadic texts, occasional updates, the polite maintenance of a relationship that had never quite recovered from the divorce.

But Julie was the only person who might understand what Paula was going through. The only person who had loved Ray the way Paula loved him. The only person who had watched him disappear into himself and felt the same helpless terror that Paula felt now.

She pressed the call button before she could talk herself out of it.

Julie answered on the third ring. “Paula?”

“Hi, Julie. I hope I'm not calling too early.”

“No, I've been up for hours. Heather's home for the weekend, and she likes to make breakfast.” There was a pause, a shift in Julie's voice. “Is everything okay? Is it Ray?”

Paula closed her eyes. Of course Julie would know. After all these years, she could still read between the lines.

“He's missing,” Paula said. “He's been gone for a week now.”

“Missing how? Did something happen?”

“There was an incident at the bar where he goes. Someone said something to him, something that set him off. He exploded, said some things, and then he walked out.” Paula took a breath. “He said he wasn't coming back.”

Julie was quiet for a long moment. Paula could hear sounds in the background, the clatter of dishes, the murmur of another voice. Heather, probably.

“Has he done this before?” Julie asked finally.

“Not like this. He's disappeared for a day or two, gone off to fish or whatever it is he does when things get hard. But he always comes back to Shorebirds. That's his place. That's the only place he goes.” Paula's voice cracked. “This time he said he's not coming back. And I believe him.”

“Oh, Paula.”

“I don't know what to do. I've been driving around the island, checking all his usual spots, but he's always gone by the time I get there. It's like he's hiding from me on purpose.”

“He probably is. That's what he does when he's hurting. He pushes everyone away.”

“I know. I've watched him do it for years.” Paula wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I'm scared, Julie. I'm really scared. The way he was talking, the look in his eyes when he left. He said there is no better. He said he's just waiting for it to end.”

The silence on the other end of the line stretched out, heavy with meaning.

“You can’t keep doing this, Paula. Caring for him is killing you.”

“I know, but he’s my brother. I can’t walk away. I just can’t.”

“I need to tell you something,” Julie said finally. “About Heather.”

Paula sat up straighter. “What about her?”

“She's been asking about Ray. More and more over the past few years. She wants to meet him.”

“She does?”

“She's twenty now, Paula. She's not a child anymore. And she's studying to be a psychiatrist. Did I tell you that? She's in her second year at the University of Miami. Top of her class. She wants to specialize in trauma and PTSD.” Julie's voice was soft, almost wondering. “She chose that field because of Ray. Because she wanted to understand what happened to her father. All the pre-med classes she’s taken, everything has been because of Ray.She’d never admit to that, but I know it’s what drives her ambition.”