Page 123 of Certified To Handle You 2

I rubbed my hand over my face and looked toward the bedroom door to make sure nobody was comin’ in. “I’on know what the hell I’m doin’, Toni.”

“What happened?” She asked, and the sounds around her lowered like she had stepped away from everybody else.

“Renza left me a voicemail last night,” I told her. “He was drunk, and he was sayin’ how much he miss me, love me and don’t understand why I won’t just come be with him.”

Toni stayed quiet for a moment before askin’, “What that do to you?”

“It tore my heart up,” I admitted. “I been listenin’ to it since I woke up, and now I’m sittin’ here wonderin’ if I’m makin’ a mistake.”

“A mistake with Couture?” Toni asked carefully.

“With all this shit, bitch” I answered. “I care about Couture. I done got close to his mama and his nephew, and I finally told him I love him. How the fuck I’m supposed to turn around and tell him none of that was enough?”

Toni sighed before she answered me. “‘Nelle, I believe you love Couture. I ain’t never said you didn’t. But lovin’ somebody don’t always mean that’s where yo’ soul at.”

I closed my eyes ‘cause I already knew where she was goin’ with the shit.

“You think I should be with Renza,” I asked.

“I think you need to stop makin’ yo’self suffer ‘cause Couture feel easier,” Toni replied. “You used to havin’ yo’ way with niggas. You used to bein’ able to pull back, and they gon’ waituntil you ready to come close again. Renza don’t work like that, and that’s why he got you so fucked up.”

I pushed the cover away and got out of bed while holdin’ the phone against my ear. “Why the fuck that nigga gotta have good dick and feel good to my whole damn soul too? He couldn’t just be crazy and bad in bed?”

Toni laughed before she answered, “Because he a damn Mensah. That’s how they come. Crazy, possessive and know how to make you forget every reason you was mad.”

I shook my head even though she couldn’t see me. “Should I call him back?”

“That depend on what you plan on sayin’,” she replied. “If you callin’ to keep givin’ him half of you while you stay with Couture, leave that man alone. But if you ready to stop fightin’ and really go be with him, call him. Renza waitin’ with his arms open, but you gotta stop tryna make yo’ heart fit into another man’s hands.”

The words sat with me ‘cause that was exactly what I had been doin’. Couture’s hands felt safe, but every part of me kept reachin’ beyond ‘em for Renza.

“I do love Couture,” I said again, like repeatin’ it might make everything easier.

“I know you do,” Toni assured me. “But you don’t be talkin’ about Couture the way you talk about Renza. When you talk about Couture, you tell me what make sense. When you talk about Renza, you sound like you tryna survive that nigga.”

I went quiet and looked down at my phone.

Memories from him bein’ out here started movin’ through my head.

Renza had took me all around the city, kept me close for a whole week and loved on me like he had been starvin’ for me. Even when he got on my nerves, there was never a moment where I doubted what he felt.

I was tired of fightin’ him…

I did wanna go home to him, but before I changed my entire life, I needed to know whether the Reni situation was really over. When I asked Renza about her the other night, he told me he wasn’t dealin’ with her. I wanted to believe him, but somethin’ in me still wasn’t fully buyin’ that shit.

“What’s Reni last name? I’m ‘bout to look her up on IG,” I told Toni.

Toni paused before givin’ it to me.

My eyebrows lifted. “Bitch, that’s our last name. You think she related to us?”

Toni smacked her lips so loud I pulled the phone away from my ear. “Hell nah. That bitch ain’t related to us.”

A laugh slipped out of me for the first time this mornin’. “How you know?”

“‘Cause I been around that annoyin’ ass girl enough to know,” Toni answered. “And her real name ain’t Reni either. It’s Renaissance.”

“Renaissance?” I repeated as I opened Instagram.