Page 122 of Certified To Handle You 2

The way she was talkin’ had my own shit climbin’ higher, but I stayed locked in on her. I kept drivin’ my hips into hers until I felt her pussy tighten around me and knew she ain’t had much longer.

“Yes… yes… fuck… I’m ’bout to cum!”

Her whole body shook under me, and I held on to her while she rode that wave all the way through it.

By the time she finally came down, I couldn’t hold mine back no more. I buried my face against her neck, rode my own climax out and stayed here for a long second, lettin’ myself catch my breath before either one of us moved.

I stayed on top of Reni for a while while she rubbed slow circles across my back. Between the liquor, the weed and every damn thing that had just happened, I was wore clean the fuck out. Hell, I ain’t even feel like gettin’ up to take care of nothin’, but after a minute I finally made myself move.

I walked in the bathroom, threw the condom in the toilet, took a piss, washed my hands and looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes was bloodshot as hell from the weed and liquor, and I looked just as tired as I felt.

When I walked back in the room, Reni was stretched out across the bed completely naked like she wanted another round, but I was too damn tired for all that.

I climbed in next to her, turned over on my side and faced away from her. She scooted up behind me, wrapped her arm around my waist and held on to me from the back.

I’on even remember what was said after that ‘cause I passed clean the fuck out.

Greystone City

When I woke up, I saw that I had two missed calls and a voicemail from Renza.

His name sittin’ across my screen had me wide awake before I even pushed myself up from the pillows. It had been almost a month since we really talked, and even though he called a few days ago to check on my grandma, I never called him back like I promised I would. I told myself I had too much goin’ on, but the truth was I ain’t know what the hell to say to him without openin’ that same door I had spent weeks tryna keep closed.

I was still at my mama’s house ‘cause my grandma had only been home from the hospital for a couple days, and everybody felt better with somebody nearby in case she started feelin’ badagain. Couture had offered to stay with me, but I told him I was fine.

I sat against the headboard and pressed play.

Renza’s voice came through low and rough, and it was obvious he had been drinkin’. He told me he loved me, missed me and ain’t understand why it was so hard for me to just come be with him. He went on about how he treated me good, how good we was together and how he could take care of me if I would stop fightin’ what was between us.

The voicemail cut off while he was still talkin’, but what he already said was enough to have my damn feelin’s all over the place.

I listened to it again even though I ain’t have no business doing that shit.

There was somethin’ about hearin’ Renza damn near beg that tore through every excuse I had been usin’ to keep myself away from him. That nigga had too much pride to admit when he was hurt, so hearin’ him say he wasn’t doin’ well made it harder to pretend I was the only one protectin’ myself.

Still, I had Couture…

That probably sounded crazy after everything I had done with Renza, but bein’ with Couture felt safer. Our relationship wasn’t built around arguments, threats or me havin’ to fight to hold on to myself. Couture ain’t try to decide what I wore, where I lived or when I was supposed to leave the city. He asked instead of told, and even when we disagreed, he gave me enough room to think without actin’ like my hesitation was disrespect. Everything with him was just quiet and peaceful.

I could breathe around Couture without feelin’ like he was tryna crawl inside my body and take over every thought I had. At the same time, that peace had started feelin’ like somethin’ I was forcin’ myself to appreciate ‘cause it made more sense than the chaos Renza brought into my life.

A few weeks ago, Couture told me he loved me again. The first time he said it, I ain’t say it back ‘cause the words got stuck somewhere between my heart and my mouth. This time, he was standin’ in his kitchen with his arms around me when he said it, and I finally told him I loved him too. I meant it. At least, I believed I did.

I cared about Couture more than I expected to when we first started spendin’ time together. Somewhere along the way, his family stopped feelin’ like just his family. I looked forward to Sunday dinners at his mama’s house, and I caught myself wonderin’ what Justice was doin’ whenever a few days passed without me seein’ him. Every time I walked through the front door, his whole face lit up soon as he saw me, and before I even realized it, I had started lookin’ forward to seein’ him just as much.

It scared me ‘cause I knew attachments like that ain’t only happen with the person you was datin’. They happened with the people that came with them too. Somewhere between spendin’ time with Couture and bein’ welcomed into his world, I started carin’ about people that ain’t did nothin’ but love me exactly the way I was.

Walkin’ away from Couture wasn’t only walkin’ away from him no more. It meant losin’ people who had opened they home to me and allowed me into some of the most sensitive parts of they life. It meant hurtin’ a man who had never done nothin’ but love me the best way he knew how.

I stared at Renza’s voicemail while all those thoughts moved through my head.

No matter how hard I tried to make my heart settle inside the life I had with Couture, Renza could say my name one time and remind me that part of me was still somewhere in Trill-Land with him.

I picked up my phone and called Toni before I could talk myself out of it. She answered after a few rings, and I could hear plates movin’ around in the background.

“What you doin’?” I asked when she picked up.

“I just made breakfast for My’Love and ‘Lo before he go to the shop,” Toni answered. “Why you sound like that?”