Page 34 of Keystrokes and Kittens

“We offer to provide the ashes—”

“No, we’re good.” He said the words definitively.

I happened to agree with them, so I didn’t mind him taking over. I just…couldn’t deal with any of it.

Dr. Malcolm nodded. “The other two are in excellent health and clearly thriving. In a few more days, you’ll be able to space out the feedings a bit more. As long as they’re filling their bellies, you’re all good.” He met my gaze. “You’re doing an amazing job, Sam. Especially since this is your first time.”

“Do we know what happened?” I sniffed.

He shook his head. “About ten percent of kittens just don’t make it. It’s sad, but a reality. Unless we do a necropsy, we won’t ever know. They’re expensive—”

“And unnecessary.” Soren’s grip tightened. “You said the others are fine.”

“Yes, they are.” He nodded. “No guarantees in my business, though. Keep an eye on them and bring them in if anything goes wrong. Otherwise, we’ll do the first round of vaccines soon. We’ll give you a call when it’s time.”

I nodded.Right. I can do this. I can pick up the crate, thank the vet, and leave.Possibly one of the hardest things I’d ever done—but I did it.

Once we were back in the lobby, Soren nudged me toward the door. “Are you okay to drive back to my place? Or do you need to go back to work?” His eyes radiated concern.

“Desiree’s got everything under control. I’ll go back—” My voice caught. “Tomorrow. I’ll go back tomorrow.” I gripped the crate. “You’re coming right home?”

He nodded. “You bet. I’m right behind you. Drive safe, okay?”

Here, I offered a weak smile. “Precious cargo.”

“Of course. I was going to stop at the grocery store. Anything I can grab for you?”

“I want to say chocolate.”

He grasped my hand. “You’re allowed to say chocolate. So I’ll bring some home, and we’ll eat that with lettuce.”

I wrinkled my nose. Then managed another smile. “To balance each other out.”

“Something like that. I was thinking a Caesar salad. Or we could do tomato soup with grilled cheese. Too warm out for that?”

“It’s never too warm for comfort food.” I swallowed. “My mom used to make that. I, uh, left the sandwich you made for me in the fridge at the store.”

“Perfect. You’ll have it for tomorrow. Maybe call Desiree when you get home? Let her knew what happened?”

“Yeah. That’s a good idea. Thank you.” With that, I left the vet’s office. My heavy heart sat in my chest as I drove out of town.I’m going to shatter into a million pieces.Then I glanced at the clock on my dashboard.Except it’s time for these guys to eat.

As if on cue, Peaches started yowling. Interesting I could tell their cries apart.

Carlos never cried—that should’ve been my first clue.

I could go down that doomscrolling rabbit hole—which made no sense, but whatever—or I could focus on these two. Dr. Malcolm had made it pretty clear that my little guy would’ve died anyway. Because we’d done it this way, instead of waiting for him to pass, he wasn’t in pain anymore. And I could, with difficulty, let him go. I wouldn’t need ashes to remind me. I had tons of photos. Pictures that would be damn hard to look at.So you just need to take more. Ones with Peaches, Jack, and Soren.

Yeah, something to cling to.

By the time Soren arrived home, I had Peaches fed and was working on Jack.

“I got double fudge chocolate ice cream and a box of Lindor.”

My stomach rumbled.

After he went to the kitchen, he came out to see me. “Everything okay?”

I nodded. “One down and one to go.”