Page 36 of Later Bloom

“I love it when they think they understand what love is,” Amanda says with her eyes to the sky and a smirk on her lips. Her long blonde hair and sharp features make Aubrey feel very bland. She sits by Justin’s side just close enough to suggest they’ve formed a pair. “I wish I could just tell them to wait and see. It’s so pure and innocent. Like, trust me, you haven’t figured anything out yet.”

Justin snorts. “Oh, they’re figured a few things out.”

Amanda shoves at his arm, and he drags her against his side.

It didn’t take very long for the group to pair up. Amanda’s with Justin, Maggie’s with this guy Theo, who she swears, in the mornings when they wait in line for breakfast, is the love of her life. They sit together now a little further back from the group, making out in silence. Maggie is in his lap and his hands are on her lower back. Once in a while, Aubrey looks over, for just a second, and then she returns to the group.

There’s also Anna and Fleur, Nathan and Cassie, Oliver and James. The last two pairs are down at the lake now. Aubrey hears them laughing and hooting, and the water splashing.

“The worst is the fifteen-year-olds, honestly. I mean, they know too much and they don’t give a shit. Last year we caught two of them getting it on right behind—”

Footsteps suddenly come rushing up the path. Oliver’s voice interrupts Amanda, out of breath, “Get your asses down here, for fuck’s sake! The water’s so nice I might drag you all by the hair if you stay drying up by that fire!”

The footsteps vanish again, giving way to grunts and giggles as the group rises to their feet. Leaves and dirt are brushed off numbed asses, and Maggie shouts, “I’m going in in my underwear!”

“Remind me I owe Oliver whatever he could ever want,” Theo replies, nearly panting like a dog.

Aubrey moves a little slower, so she can observe the group and maybe watch Sam toss some water on the fire and wipe his hands on the front of his jeans. She pretends to do something, she’s not sure what, until Sam says to her, “You coming along?”

She feigns surprise when she looks up. Her face is hot, and not because of the fire. “Uh?”

“To the water.”

“Oh, yeah, yes. I’ll be there.”

“Good, great. Should we head down together, or am I too insufferable to merit the journey?”

Aubrey laughs, but on the inside she crumbles. Her chest is tight and she wants so badly for him to like her. It’s like she’s sitting back and watching the scene unfold, like a movie, but it feels nothing like one. She hurries to say, “You’re not insufferable.”

“Aren’t I?”

He waits for her to join his side and they walk, slowly, down the rows of trees leading to the shore. “What makes you think I think that?” Aubrey asks.

His hands are deep in his pockets but he stands close enough for his arm to brush against hers when they walk. She holds her breath. He smells like smoke. “I don’t know,” he says. “Maybe the way you talk, or how you don’t look at me very much. Feels like maybe you think I’m annoying.”

“No, no. Oh, my god.” Aubrey turns a little away from him so he doesn’t see the face she’s making. She fights against her usual instincts—no cryptic comments, or hoping her eyes are doing the work, or waiting for him to pick up on something she’s yet to lay down. Summer is short, and attraction moves fast, and the way this is heading she might not kiss anyone at all before she heads back to school, and it’ll be another season of everyone else getting it on while she doesn’t get any, and she can’t mess this up. “That was just me trying to seem cool and detached so you’d be into me. I don’t—well. Anyway.” Right. Good enough.

“Ah. Okay.”

“Yeah.”

Now they’re not saying anything, and Aubrey thinks this was a mistake after all, thinking this is something she can pull off. Maybe it’s knowing that Sam is so impossibly out of her league that gave her the confidence to try, as if knowing she’d fail made it a little easier to give it a go. Out in the real world she wouldn’t even have considered it, but here it feels okay, like no one will ever know, and she’ll never see him again anyway.

After a minute, he says, “I think girls really should know that being hot does a whole lot of work for them.”

Aubrey laughs, loud and sudden. “I’m not hot,” she says, the way you say something very obvious.

“You insult me, Ladybug.”

“I mean, I’m fine, I think. Not hideous, but hot? You’re hot. You’re—” She gestures over at him. “—you know.”

“Yeah, and you’re an attractive girl, and let’s end it there, otherwise I’ll have to get crude on you.”

The tips of Aubrey’s ears are burning. Her throat’s never felt quite so tight and the pit of her stomach quite so heavy. She wonders if her heart beating so fast should be cause for concern. She wonders if any of this is normal, if it’s right, if this is how she’s meant to feel. She looks over at Sam and he looks at her at the same time.

“Come on, let’s go over there.” He takes her hand and drags her off to the path that veers left, to a spot on the shore partitioned from the group by thick bushes. Aubrey can hear their friends swimming and talking further down to her right. She can hear blood pumping in her ears, too.

“I’ve been meaning to get to know you better, Ladybug,” Sam says, standing with his back to the lake and his arms crossed over his chest.