Page 65 of The Prince's Fealty

“It wasn’t a good idea,” Pel agreed. “It had the potential to hurt me, but I know you didn’t set out to do that. You didn’t intend to be cruel or malicious.”

Tor blew out a breath. “I didn’t—but I recognize now that doesn’t mean those aren’t the effects you felt.”

Pel sighed again, his breath a warm gust across Tor’s skin. “It wasn’t really you, you know. It just had some uncomfortable parallels.”

Frowning, Tor demanded, “What did Terilado?”

Pel had talked about this a little, but it was clearly worse than he’d said.

Pel shook his head. “You know, it’s probably not as terrible as I remember. But I was only twenty-five, and it was the first thing my father had ever asked me to do after I Manifested, a real task.” He made a disgruntled sound. “Like a naive fool, I imagined that I could do what he wished and he’d actually be proud of me. We both know that would never have happened.”

Tor, unfortunately, was sure Pel was right, that Forex would always have found something to be angry about. He didn’t think it would be helpful to agree, so instead, he ran his fingers through Pel’s hair again, ruffling the plain brown strands. Neither as light as his brother’s nor as dark as his sister’s, it was a color that Tor was now prepared to declare was his absolute favorite.

Everything about Pel was his absolute favorite.

Pel leaned into the caress for a moment and then continued, “If she’d just… tried to get to know me and we’d realized we didn’t suit, it wouldn’t have smarted quite so much. It was like I ceased to be a person the moment she heard my name and knew I was Unremarkable. She literally ignored me and spoke about me as though I wasn’t there. It was humiliating. It felt like it was a personal attack, though really it was quite clearly about my magic and nothing else. She didn’t know me enough to make any other assessments.”

Tor was filled with fury—but he distantly recognized that some of that anger was at himself. Pel didn’t need Tor marching to Vayrin and giving Terila a piece of his mind—especially if it was partly to assuage his own guilt.

Swallowing thickly, Tor made sure he spoke calmly. “I’m sorry she did that to you. And I’m sorry for the ways in which my own behavior may have been similar.”

Pel was silent for a moment. “When you got here and you actually met me, you chose to get to know me.”

“Mostly because you’re stubborn and made me work for it,” Tor admitted, feeling his face heat as a burst of unfamiliar shame washed through him.

It was so easy to condemn Terila, but Tor had originally picked Pel based on his name, making the same assumptions Terila had.

“You were stubborn, too,” Pel pointed out. “You kept trying, and as you got to know me, you abandoned your asinine plan. You adjusted. I can even understand that you wanted to protect me—as long as you acknowledge that it was a terrible idea and you will never, ever try to hide something like that from me again.”

“Not ever,” Tor agreed, pressing a kiss to the top of the man’s head. “I was protecting myself but wrapping it up in claiming that I was protecting you. Rin and Ada knew why I was really in Tond, your siblings knew I’d come down to try to get out of an undesired match, and obviously, I was going to have to tell my brother something. Thinking I could simply never tell you and you’d never find out was the height of foolishness. I should have just sat you down and explained the whole thing, but if I’m being honest, I was afraid of how you’d react and what you’d think of me. So I kept putting it off—until I managed to make it the most epically terrible confession that ever was.”

Pel snorted inelegantly. “It was quite possibly the worst way to learn, but ifI’mbeing honest, I don’t know how I would have reacted if you’d told me sooner. I like to think we would have figured it all out eventually—but what if you’d gone up the mountain or back to Alossa by yourself?” A shiver ran through Pel’s body. “I don’t want to think about what might have happened.”

Chapter Fourteen

Tor

Tor wrapped his arms around Pel and held him close, suppressing his own shudder. What if the other man, bonded and pregnant unbeknownst to both of them, had been back in Tond when Tor had died? Would Tor’s death have killed Pel, too? Tor hoped desperately that he would have protected Pel’s magic just like he’d apparently done before he went out the window, but he knew there was no guarantee. An Unremarkable bonded to another Unremarkable could still die when their bonded died, so it wasn’t necessarily about magical strength or taking the magic from the other person.

He kissed the top of Pel’s head. “I’m so glad you were there to rescue me, but I’m sorry for everything else.”

“It seems like this has been in motion for a long time. Most of it’s not your fault—just the worst courting plan to have ever existed.”

Tor snorted out a laugh in spite of himself. “Yes, that oneis fully on me.”

And the rest… the rest seemed to be a deep plot that even now, Tor could barely believe. A plan to kill their entire family so that Nostex or Fernila could gain the Fealty of the United Realms? Really?

And yet what other explanation fit the facts? Tor categorically refused to believe Ada was behind this, and he knew he wasn’t, so there just weren’t many other possible beneficiaries. Add in that someone seemed to have been trying to discredit him for years, and there was a ready-made scapegoat for an outrageous plot.

Tor felt like he’d barely scratched the surface of what might be going on, and he was planning to set himself up against the person who had masterminded the whole thing. But it was his family, so he was doing it anyway.

He stroked a hand down Pel’s back again and didn’t let himself renew his suggestion that Pel stay behind. His urge to protect Pel and their baby was strong—but Tor’s death could still hurt them from a distance. Not to mention the fact that Pel had been exactly what he needed the last time his life had been in danger.

If they were talking about who’d been more in danger recently, then Pel probably had more reason to be worried about Tor—and nothing in this world would keep Tor from going to help his family.

There was still an unsettled feeling in Tor’s gut, but maybe that was normal under the circumstances.

“Thank you for doing this with me,” Tor whispered.