Page 106 of Good For Me

But the expected rush of shame doesn’t come.Because this isn’t a screw up,I realize. Even if it felt like that at first. The rest of my family might not see it the same way, but it’s becoming more and more clear that I don’t really give a shit. I’m happy about the pregnancy. They can choose to be happy with me, or not. Either way, I’m done feeling bad about it.

“Jas and I are having a baby.”

You could hear a pin drop. Everyone is gaping at me, Alex’s mouth literally hanging open in shock, Will’s beer bottle frozen halfway to his mouth.

“Are you…” Everly murmurs, then trails off, blinking rapidly. Her mouth opens and closes a few times and I nearly laugh. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Everly speechless even once in our lives. “You’re not joking, are you?”

I arch an eyebrow. “You think this is something I would joke about?”

“I have no idea what I think,” she says, her voice high pitched. “My brain just melted!”

“River,” Will says, eyes wide on his pale face “Shit, man. For real? You’re having a kid?”

I realize I’m fighting a smile and I let it free, grinning big. “Yeah, man. I am.”

It’s as if my smile was what they all needed to accept that I’m telling the truth.

There’s a flurry of commotion as Alex, Will, and Wyatt jump out of their seats, everyone talking at once. “Holy shit, dude,” Will yells, striding around the table. “River!” Alex squeals. I nearly fall off my chair as Bodhi barrels into me with a hug. Everly bursts into tears.

I’m not sure what, exactly, I was expecting when I told them the news. Shock, most likely. That they would be nervous for me. There was even a part of me that wondered whether they’d be disappointed, or unable to hide their judgement.

What I never expected was this outpouring of…joy. There’s no other word for it. My cousins, the first and best friends I’ve ever had in my life, seem thrilled for me. They’re all hugging me, asking questions, the girls wiping at their eyes.

“This is insane,” Will says, his voice a little shaky as he pulls me into a hug. “Are you freaking out?”

“A little,” I admit, my laugh just as shaky. “Not as much now as a few weeks ago.”

He pulls back, expression stunned but happy. “I think this is awesome, man. Truly.”

“I didn’t want to tell everyone so close to the wedding,” I admit. “I didn’t want to steal your thunder or anything. But with Jas being at the house now it won’t be easy to hide and—”

He waves off my apology. “I don’t give a shit about that.” He grips my shoulder and holds my gaze, his eyes fierce. “I’m happy for you, Riv.”

“Thanks.” I laugh again, my eyes stinging now. “I’m pretty happy about it, too.”

I turn from Will to Fox. My little brother is the only one who hasn’t said anything yet. He’s still in his chair, looking nearly as shocked as Ash had. “Fox?”

He stands. “God, Riv. I don’t even know what to say.”

“You could say you’re happy for me.”

He shakes his head, pulling me in for a hug. “Of course I’m happy for you,” he mutters. I pat his back and move to release him but his arms tighten. “You’re going to be awesome at this, brother. You know that, right?”

It takes a moment for me to respond—my throat is feeling awfully thick. “You think so?”

“Of course I do, man. You’ve been the best big brother I could have asked for. This kid is so freaking lucky.”

Well, damn. I don’t like getting emotional around all my cousins. But I guess if there was ever a time to shed a tear or two, this would be it.

* * *

We’ve movedout to the deck overlooking the ocean when Jas finally texts. There are about a million things for my cousins to talk about—the baby, the wedding, the baby some more—but I’m having trouble concentrating on the conversation while my mind is stuck wondering what my girl is up to. When the phone buzzes with a message, I practically drop it in my haste to check the screen.

Jas:How’s dinner? You tell everyone?

Me:I did. They were great. Totally awesome, actually.

Jas:Really?