Page 98 of Wrong For Me

Since I can’t find the words, I pull her in tighter, my gaze flicking down to her lips. Maybe I can be brave, too. Maybe I can be worthy of her. But right now, all I want to do is kiss her. And I plan to do just that, for as long as she’ll let me.

Behind us, the bartender clears her throat again. “Sorry to interrupt yourmoment,” she says, amusement in her voice, “but I’m just about ready to go home.”

Rose and I jump back. I had completely forgot that we were standing in the middle of an empty restaurant, with an audience of one. We catch each other’s gaze and we both laugh.

“Should we go up to the room?”

I don’t answer, but I hold my hand out. She takes it, her smile a little shy, and it’s everything I can do not to kiss her all over again, audience be damned.

“Thanks for letting me use the piano,” Rose murmurs to the bartender as we pass.

“Thanks for the entertainment,” the woman laughs. “Not every day I get to watch a soap opera while I close up.”

Rose’s cheeks flush, but when her eyes meet mine, they’re sparkling with amusement. And maybe a little bit of giddiness. I certainly feel giddy. I feel like I’m on the precipice of finally getting everything I’ve ever wanted. And like I might actually deserve it, too.

We don’t talk as we ride the elevator back upstairs, but her hand doesn’t leave mine until we get to our room. It’s as dark and quiet as it was when I left, but my mood couldn’t be more different. Her lavender scent still surrounds me like it did earlier, but this time it’s coming from the woman in front of me, not the cold echo of her presence.

We stand in the middle of the room, looking at each other. “Will you do me a favor?” she whispers.

“Anything.”

“Don’t pull back again. I understand how hurt you must have been when that lawyer showed up. And everything you told me about your mom makes it pretty clear why you’re quick to go on the defensive.” Her eyes are pleading. “But if you get scared again, or hurt or confused or anything else—talk to me. Okay? Because I don’t think I could handle it if we do this…” she swallows. “If we do this and then you shut down on me again.”

A wave of remorse crashes over me. Not just for the occasionally dickish way I’ve treated her over the last few weeks, but for an entire lifetime of shutting people out. It didn’t have to be that way. No matter how I grew up, I made my own choices when it came to my personal relationships, the way I kept people at a distance. And never have I felt the weight of those mistakes more than I do in this moment, standing here with the most beautiful person I’ve ever met, watching her beg me not to hurt her.

“Never,” I say firmly, crossing the few feet to her so I can pull her into my arms, show her how much I mean this. “I won’t do that to you again, Rose. I promise.” She reaches up to cup my jaw and I lean into the touch, needing to be even closer to her. “I don’t want to be that person,” I admit in a whisper. “I don’t want to be too scared to be with someone like you.”

She smiles, pure sunshine filling my chest. “We can practice kicking fear’s ass together.”

I let out a shuddering breath but don’t respond, because Rose is pressing up on her tiptoes to brush her lips against mine. And just like that, the need to speak, to confess and apologize, fades away. The only thing that matters is the woman in my arms, her lips against mine, her body curving into me. Everything else can wait.

I’m not sure if we end up in her bed or mine, all I know is I can’t seem to move fast enough, and Rose matches me in my desperation. She tugs at my shirt; I reach for her leggings. She kisses my neck, lips hot against my skin; I reach up to remove her hair tie, letting those silky strands slip through my fingers.

Somehow, we end up naked, and I stare down at her below me, her golden hair spread out across the pillow like a halo of light. She’s all long limbs and smooth skin pressed up against me, and for a second, I can’t breathe.

“What?” she whispers, and I realize that I’ve stopped moving, stopped kissing her, that I’ve just been staring for several long moments.

“Just trying to commit this to memory,” I admit, voice pure gravel, filled with need and want. “You’re so fucking beautiful. I don’t ever want to forget how you look right now.”

Her face softens, hand coming up to cup my jaw again. “You don’t have to memorize me, Leo. I’m not going anywhere.”

That thought fills my chest with a feeling I can’t identify. “I’m not going anywhere either,” I tell her, meaning it like I’ve never meant anything before. “I promise.”

Sex with Rose feels every bit as good as I remember—better, because this time I know we have longer than one night. Part of me wants to go slow, to soak in every detail of her body moving under mine, of her heat wrapped around me. But the knowledge that neither of us is going anywhere makes it easier to go fast, to show her how I’m pretty sure I’ll never get enough of her.

“This is so good,” she whispers against my ear, voice sounding awed, like she can’t quite believe it.

I can only say her name, again and again. I’m too caught up in this, too caught up in her, to form sentences. To form thoughts. Flashes of moments stand out against the onslaught of pleasure and imprint on my mind. The graceful curve of her neck as my lips travel along her skin. The perfect feel of her breasts in my palms, their softness when she presses into my chest. The small, wicked smile she gives me right before she falls apart.

I follow right after her, collapsing against her, face buried in her shoulder. Violent shudders roll through me at the feel of her nails gently scraping through my hair, against my scalp. I feel weak and content and completely satisfied in a way I can’t ever remember being.

“Just think,” she whispers in my ear, voice giddy. “We can do that whenever we want.”

A laugh rumbles through my chest and I find the strength to pull away enough to look down at her. Her expression is every bit as giddy as her voice had been, like knowing we have a lot more of this in our future is the most exciting present she’s ever opened.

“We should have been doing it all this time,” I tell her, pressing a kiss to her damp forehead. “If I hadn’t been such an idiot.”

“I need another favor,” she says and my response is the same as it was earlier—the same, I’m sure, that it will always be when she asks something of me. Rose can have whatever she wants.

“Anything.”

She holds both sides of my face, forcing me to look deep into her blue eyes. They’re fierce once more. “We focus on the future from now on,” she demands. “We stop regretting the past.”

“That’s not easy for me.”

She smiles. “You know what I think? I think we’re really lucky, actually. We found our way back to each other. That’s the important part of our story.”

I lean down to kiss her, because I can’t not. “You’re right. We’re really damn lucky.”