Page 90 of Wrong For Me

Leo

Ifeel sick to my stomach. Sick and pissed off and a whole lot of other things I can’t even identify. That’s the only excuse I have for why I do what I do. I call Bodhi.

For all the years we’ve been friends, I can’t think of more than a few times we’ve talked on the phone. Since we spend both our school year and our summer breaks together, we’re rarely separated for any large length of time. Plus, we’re guys. If we need to get in touch, a text works just fine.

But a text won’t work for me tonight. I’m feeling dangerously close to hopeless right now, and I could really use some advice from the most aggressively optimistic person I know.

“Leonardo, my boy,” Bodhi booms in place of a hello. “It’s been too long, dear, departed friend. The cats miss the hell out of you and the plants have all started to wilt. Depressed. Plants can get depressed you know.”

I sigh, immediately regretting this decision. “We have neither cats nor plants, idiot.”

“We don’t have a cat? Then who the hell have I been feeding for the last week?”

I wait, clenching my teeth, while he laughs at his own ridiculousness. “Anyhow,” he finally says. “What’s up? I can’t believe you’re actually calling me.”

“I clearly made a grave error,” I mutter, and he laughs some more.

“Lay it on me, buddy. Is there drama afoot at the nerd conference?”

I should hang up the phone. Make up some excuse about him checking for my mail or something. I definitely should not tell him how I’m feeling right now.

“Rose is here,” I blurt out, and immediately curse myself.

Bodhi is quiet for a moment—a first. “Rose?” he finally gasps out. “As in Rose Ransome? As in the love of your life?”

“If you’re going to be a drama queen, I’m hanging up. Love of my life? Give me a fucking break.”

“Fine.” I can just tell the fucker is grinning. “Rose the girl you’ve been uncharacteristically distracted by since Lake Tahoe is there? At the conference?”

“She’s in my room, man,” I groan, falling backwards onto the bed.

“Right now?” he gasps. “She’s waiting in your hotel room and you’re talking to me?”

“No, you ass. I mean we’re sharing a room. There was some kind of mess up with the reservation. The university handled the arrangements and I guess they thought Rose and Dr. Hernandez were sharing. When she switched her reservation for mine…”

“You ended up sharing with her instead.” He lets out a low whistle. “Did you know she was going to be at the conference when you agreed to go?”

“Maybe,” I grumble.

“Yet you didn’t mention this to me. Interesting.”

“Unlike you, I don’t feel the need to share every fucking thought in my head.”

“Mmmhmm.” Smugness bleeds through the phone. “I’m sure that’s why you kept it to yourself.”

I close my eyes, running my hand over my face. “It’s a disaster, man.”

“Why? What’s so bad about spending time with this girl? This girl who you clearly have feelings for.” As if he senses the argument forming on my lips, he groans. “No, Leo. Don’t fuck around with me right now. You like her. There’s nothing wrong with liking her.”

I take a breath. I’m tired of trying to fight it. “I do,” I snap. “I really fucking like her. I have since the minute we met.”

“So, what’s the problem? The universe has somehow seen fit to put you in a hotel room with the girl you’re crazy about. Only in your screwed-up head would that be a bad thing.”

“But that’s the problem!” I sit up, breathing heavily. I catch the slightest hint of lavender in the air—even when she’s not here she’s all around me. “My headisscrewed up. And I keep turning everything into a mess when it comes to her.” More quiet from Bodhi. Twice in one night, must be record.

When he does speak, his voice is soft. “Tell me what happened, man.”

So, I do. I tell him about that first day, how close we came to kissing in the room. How I tried to avoid her after that. The well of jealousy that opens up inside me whenever she talks to sweater vest. And then I tell him about tonight. Making her feel better when she was upset. Drinking together and doing that ridiculous Talk List. Opening up to her like I’ve never done before. The kiss. And how I’d fucked it all up in the end, just like always. I talk more than I probably ever have with him, if the slightly stunned silence coming from the other end of the phone is any indication.