Page 44 of Weathering The Storm

Perry’s at the helm when I come in. I take the wheel and keep an eye on Seth as he steps on deck in a bright yellow windbreaker, getting pelted with rain.

Thankfully, it’s an easy job. The anchor hasn’t drifted much. This bottom should still give us a decent hold. We just have to get it to catch.

As small a victory as it is, I needed this. Proof that I can be exactly who I am. Nicolas Lundvall. Captain, fisherman, son, friend. I can cherish the great outdoors, the ocean, theSuoja, and Seth. Openly. And nothing about the first three has to fall apart because of the last.

Initial panic worn off now that I’ve made my decision, I’m beginning to realize how much effort I’ve putinto pretending all these years. The small, subconscious things receding from me like water being pulled from the shore back out to the ocean.

Whatever happens next, happens. But at least I’ll have the inner peace of knowing it happened out of honesty.

“Looks like we’re holding now,” I say to Perry once our location on the chart plotter stops drifting. “Can you come below for a few minutes? Wanted to have a quick crew meeting.”

“Sure,” he says breezily, following me downstairs.

Orlov and Jorgensen are right where we left them, only now, Jorgensen’s got his feet kicked up on the dinette seat and a shit-eating grin on his face. Seth comes in last, shrugging off his windbreaker, kicking off his rubber boots, and shaking out his sopping wet hair.

It takes Perry three seconds to notice that it feels like a staged intervention in here.

“What’s this about?”

Jorgensen can’t help himself. “I don’t know, but I sure hope it has to do with why Rit and Captain were hanging out in his cabinduring your watch. And Ireallyhope that whatever they were doing, it involved your bunk.”

Orlov smacks him on the back hard enough to knock the cookie out of his hand.

“Look, I’ll keep this brief,” I say, trying to get a hold on the situation, and by extension, my erratic heartbeat. “Me and Rittenburg are…”

Fuck. This is supposed to be the start of something polished and professional, but I don’t actuallyknowwhat to call me and Seth.

“Close”? That’s quite the understatement.

A couple? It’s not like we’ve made anything official.

Having mind-blowing sex in every spare moment of our free time?

“Together,” Seth supplies.

“Yes. But I wanted to make it clear that this won’t change anything for our crew here, work-wise. I apologize if you feel misled, but it was never my intention to make things uncomfortable here for any of you.”

“Uncomfortable at work?” Jorg snorts. “Freezing my balls off sorting crabs when it’s rougher than shit out there makes me uncomfortable. Why would I care if you two are fucking?”

“Icare!” Perry says, with so much accusation in his tone, I mentally prepare myself to lose my senior deckhand. But then he directs his glare at Seth. “You didn’t let himwin at darts, did you?”

Seth snorts out a laugh. “That’sall you care about? Darts?”

“No, as a matter of fact. That’s notall I care about. Because now I’m wondering if I’m fucking blind or something, I owe Orlov a hundred bucks,andI have to build Erin a She Shed.”

“What is a She Shed?” Orlov asks.

“For some women, it’s a small shed converted into a cute little hobby space. Formywife, it’s an 800-square-foot cottage with a detached greenhouse, a painting studio, a loft, a built-in library, and custom furniture because, ‘nothing in the stores matches her style and it’s all cheap garbage.’”

“I hope this teaches you a lesson about gambling,” Seth says.

I’ve imagined all the ways this could transpire countless times. That’s what being a captain is—taking in data and using it to make predictions that inform decisions, which lead to outcomes that begin the cycle all over again.

The one data point I failed to account for is the one I didn’t fully believe until now. Despite how I’ve kept these guys at a distance, Seth was right. To them, I’m a friend.

“Erin started it,” Jorgensen says, as if that absolves the rest of them from participating. “She thought you were lying about Amber because your place didn’t have a ‘woman’s touch’ or whatever when we went over for dinner.”

“I told you guys. Nick is gay.” Orlov crunches down on a sandwich cookie. “I was not so sure about you Seth, until I saw you makingglazkiat Captain all the time.”