Page 132 of Game Misconduct

Leif sipped his water and waited patiently for Ian to explain why they were talking here rather than at the practice facility.

Ian petted Emmie for a minute, then cleared his throat. “So I want to apologize for not speaking up in the locker room. It’s been bugging me since then.”

Leif nodded.

“It was … I shouldn’t have left you hanging out to dry.”

“It’s … fine,” Leif said. “I really am used to it.”

“But you—you shouldn’thaveto be,” Ian said with a frown. “I should have said something. Nicky should have?—”

“I get why he doesn’t,” Leif said.

“Sure, I do too,” Ian said. “It’s just …” But he didn’t finish his thought.

“I amnota good leader,” Leif admitted. “And with Nicky gone, I should have done more. I know they want me to do more but I …”

They being the head office of course.

“Yeah, same.” Ian sighed. “I should do more too.”

“And really,” Leif continued, “I get you not speaking up about gay issues. It isn’t really important to you personally and?—”

Ian let out a startled laugh. “You think I’m straight?”

“Aren’t you?” Leif frowned.

Ian chuckled. “No. I’m bi.”

“Oh.” Leif shrugged. “I didn’t know you datedanyone.”

He’d never brought anyone to team events before.

“Ugh,” Ian said, rubbing a hand over his face. “Honestly. I don’t date much. I’ve kinda … there’s a guy I’ve had a thing for and it’s just always …there. It gets in the way of me moving on with someone.” He shrugged helplessly. “I should be over it by now. It’s stupid but …”

“I understand that,” Leif said. He didn’t think he’d get over Tanner easily either. “But yeah, I had no idea you were bi.”

“I never really thought it was important to talk about?” Ian said. “I mean, so what? What does it have to do with my hockey? And since I haven’t been seeing anyone seriously it felt weird to just … shoehorn into a conversation.”

“Yeah, that makes sense to me.”

“But maybe I’ve kinda been letting you and Nicky down by doing that. I mean, you didn’t evenknow.”

“Does Nicky?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“It came up,” Ian said. “I don’t remember how. But I was here before Nicky’s injury. Before he was gone so much. It was different then. The teamfeltdifferent.”

Leif nodded.

“I mean, guys were still pretty homophobic,” Ian said with a soft laugh. “But the mood was better.”

“I get that.”

“So, anyway, I’m going to do better in the future,” Ian said.