Page 53 of Cheap Shot

“What’s going on?” Nicky asked, his tone coaxing.

“I …” Sebastian pulled in a ragged breath. “IthinkIwannaquittheteam.”

Nicky blinked. “Did you just fucking say you wanted to quit the team? Please tell me I heard you wrong.”

Sebastian shook his head.

Frowning, Nicky said, “Like, go somewhere else? Because you know we’re one of the top-ranked teams in the state, right? We’re?—”

“Not go somewhere else,” Sebastian admitted softly. “Quit hockey. Totally.”

“Butwhy?”

“Youknowwhy.”

Nicky winced. “Yeah.”

Practice had been bad yesterday. In the locker room, the guys had been talking about a new kid in their prep school. He was gay. Like … openly. Flamboyantly. And well, it had been hard enough for Sebastian to swallow the stuff the team had said casually, with no real target. But hearing them rip into this guy, hearing what they’d said about him …

It had made Sebastian feel so sick he’d puked into a trash can, bringing up a mix of the half-digested protein bar he’d eaten earlier and the blue sports drink he’d chugged during practice. Guys had started chirping him for that and it had all swirled together in his head as he pictured the way the guys he called friends would turn on him if they ever found out about him.

About him and Nicky.

But Nicky handled it better. He always had.

“I just can’t do it anymore,” Sebastian said now, his voice thick. “I fucking can’t. And you know I love hockey, but I can’t keep—every time I think about the future, think about the draft, I wonder how the fuck I’m gonna do it. I don’t fit in, Nicky, you know I don’t.”

“But we were gonna do it together, Seb.” Nicky’s voice was rough. “Play in the show together.”

“You know what a long shot it is for me,” Sebastian pointed out. “I’m never gonna be you. I’m not gonna go in the first or even second round. I might not even get drafted. At best, I’ll be a low pick and I’ll be lucky to get a regular roster spot in the AHL. I’ll be miserable the whole fucking time. I won’t be … I won’t be me.”

Nicky frowned. “You’re really serious. You’ve thought this through.”

Sebastian nodded.

“Fuck.” Nicky sat up and ran a hand through his hair. Sebastian could see the wetness in his eyes and feel his own cheeks grow damp. This was exactly what he’d been afraid of.

“I’m sorry.” Sebastian’s voice was small. “I told you that you’d be mad at me.”

Nicky launched himself at Sebastian hard enough to make his teeth clack. He wound their bodies together, burying his face in the crook of Sebastian’s neck. His voice was muffled as he said, “I’m not mad at you, you asshole. I’m sad for me. I could never be mad at you.”

The sound of a siren in the distance pulled Sebastian from the memory and he stood there in his shop, his cheeks damp, his heart aching, and his lips still remembering the touch of Crawford’s mouth against his.

“I’m sorry, Nicky,” he whispered, his stomach aching with confusion and regret because while yes, back then Nicky had said he could never be mad at Sebastian, would he still feel that way now? Would he understand why Sebastian was making the choices he was making?

Sebastianshouldtell Crawford he couldn’t do this anymore but long after he’d locked the door, shut out the lights, and gone to bed, he was still thinking about the kiss.

Sebastian punched his pillow and rolled onto his side.

FuckingCrawford. He made everything complicated.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Luke’s phone rang as he walked toward his front door a few days later, carrying multiple bags of groceries. He’d only made one trip—because who fucking made multiple ones if they didn’t have to?

Cowards, that was who.

By the time he got through the door, the call had ended, but it started up again after he got the damn bags set down on the counter and stripped out of his jacket. Luke grumbled, took a look at the screen, and realized it was his agent.