Page 19 of One Day at a Time

Orla shook her head. ‘That’s the thing – nothing’s happened. I have no idea what’s going on. I mean, obviously there was the whole conversation with Kyle after the test last weekend…’ She’d filled them in on that the following morning, but even then, she’d been calm and pragmatic, focused on the positives and delivered the update without tears and snot. ‘I’m fine. I really am. My emotions are just having a moment. They’ve been all over the place this week. I think it’s just crazy PMT.’

‘Mmmm.’ Yvie sat back in her chair, lips pursed. ‘PMT? But weren’t they supposed to start last week?’

‘Yes, but they’ve been pretty irregular for the last few months, I think it’s just the stress of everything.’

Yvie was back on her feet now, making two mugs of tea. ‘And have you done any more tests?’

Orla could tell Yvie was trying to sound nonchalant, but not quite succeeding because obviously her thoughts were going in a particular direction. It was a road Orla had gone down in her mind many times too.

‘Yep, I did three more this week. All negative. I didn’t tell Kyle, because he’s pretty set on putting the whole pregnancy thing on the back burner right now. He doesn’t want to even discuss it anymore. And I get that. It’s been such a focus for so long. I need to just pull myself together, get back to just enjoying life and stop spending a small fortune on test kits.’

Yvie brought the teas over to the table. ‘So when was the last time you tested?’

Orla thought about that. ‘Maybe three days ago. To be honest… Argh, please don’t judge me… But I was going to stop on my way home from work today and get another one.’

Yvie’s expression changed and she got up from her chair and popped her head out of the door. ‘Hi, can I borrow you for a second?’ she said.

Orla had no idea who she was speaking to, until Keli came in the door. There was only time for quick hello’s before Yvie got to the point. ‘Are you still friendly with Sharon over in the maternity wing?’

Keli nodded. ‘Of course. We were out a couple of weeks ago and, oh my Taylor Swift, she can dance. We ended up in…’ She stopped suddenly, reading the room. ‘Okay, I’m thinking that wasn’t the information you were after. What do you need?’ Only now did she register Orla’s mascara tracks. ‘Oh, bugger, Orla, are you okay?’

‘Just having a hormonal blip, I think. PMT.’ She still wasn’t sure exactly what was going on here, but Yvie soon laid it out.

‘But just in case it isn’t PMT,’ Yvie said to Keli, ‘any chance you could nip down to maternity and wangle a pregnancy test?’

Keli’s eyes widened. ‘Oh shit. I mean, great! Or is it? I mean… Yes! Give me five minutes.’ With that, she shot back out the door.

Yvie was still in organisation mode. ‘I’ll be back in a sec. I just want to go ask Emmy to stay on shift a little longer to cover for us.’

Orla could only nod gratefully. What would she do without these brilliant women? Nothing fazed them. Nothing freaked them out. And they didn’t judge. She knew just how lucky she was to have met them.

The next few minutes were spent with a packet of wet wipes,fixing her face, and then reapplying some basic make-up. She pulled her long red hair up into a bun, secured it with a band and then stared in the mirror for a second, giving herself some silent straight talking.

This is it. This is the last test. The hoping has got to stop. It’s done for now. Subject closed. Time to move on. Be young and fun again. Love your husband. Enjoy life.

Ten minutes later, the door burst open and a slightly breathless Keli came in with Yvie right behind her. Keli handed over a familiar cellophane-wrapped box.

‘Sharon wasn’t on duty, so I ran down to the chemist in the foyer and got this.’

The hospital was like a small village, and the ground floor had a deli, a coffee shop, an M&S, a bakery and chemist that obviously sold pregnancy tests.

Yvie was still guiding Orla through this. ‘Okay, your choice. I’ll cover your shift for the next hour if you want to go home and do it.’

Orla knew that wasn’t an option. ‘I don’t want to put you out, or to traipse home again now, but I also don’t want to spend the next ten hours wondering. There’s a risk I’ll burst into tears if Mrs Jenkins starts singing ‘Danny Boy’ again. Would you be freaked out if I do it here?’

Keli and Yvie shared a glance, before Keli nodded to the door that led to the small staff toilet. ‘If I had a pound for all the times I’ve done a pregnancy test in that bathroom, I’d be able to unlock two shopping trolleys at ASDA.’ Which Orla took to mean she wouldn’t be the first.

Yvie was clearly trying to make it easier for her. ‘Right, I’ll run a tap out here, and Keli, you hum a tune – nothing worse than people listening to you pee.’

Despite the absolutely mind-bending stress of it all, thatmade Orla laugh as she nipped through the door. Never, in all the many times that she’d been through this or pictured it, had she ever imagined that she would one day do a pregnancy test in a staffroom toilet, to the sound of Beyonce’s ‘Crazy In Love’ being sung slightly off pitch in the room next door.

The tune only ended after she’d washed her hands and exited, clutching a small white stick.

‘Okay, so I think we’ve probably violated several HR policies already so this stays between us,’ Yvie said, as they all took seats round the small white Formica dining table.

With perfect timing, Emmy chose that exact moment to enter.

‘Okay, what have I missed?’ Her stare went to the overturned stick on the table. ‘Ah, we haven’t got to the important bit yet.’