Page 58 of Bred By Sor'en

He keeps his grip on my face. “You must honor him with this. This was his choice, and he needs you to honor it with balance.”

“I-I don’t know how,” I whimper, trying so hard to stifle my sobs.

“You saygoodbye, Draya’la. You mustn’t cling to those trying to move on. It will confuse his spirit. He chose you as his ya’shmal. He chose to stay with you, but he is still too close to this plane. He cannot hesitate as he crosses into the veil. It is your job as his chosen to guide him now.”

I shake my head. “I can’t do that, I don’tunderstand.”

He leaves a swipe of oil over my cheek, and something unknots in my chest at the prospect of him numbing me, at sleeping instead of his. “Youcan, and youwill.”

“You didn’t make me tired. I want to sleep.”

He huddles me closer. “I will not numb this for you. I will not undermine your ability to endure it.”

“It hurts,” I sniffle. “It hurts so bad.”

Lyr’ael gathers my hair out of my face. Not cringing when she finds it sticky and wet. “It is meant to, human Hue. We miss them, but we accept that it was their soul's plan. We cannot fault the world for what is already said to come.”

My raw eyes land on Lyr’ael behind Sor’en as her hand falls above my head, clearing it. I nod, my entire body just beyond the point of exhaustion. “When?” I breathe out.

“Now, my gift, we must prepare him now.”

I shake my head, another pang of misery budding in my chest, before Sor’en forces me to stand, cutting my swelling sob in half. “I am not good at saying goodbye.”

“Then do not say it for yourself, say it for him.”

I glance at the male on the bed, my chest heaving and feet unsteady. “I don’t know what to do.”

He rises to his full height. I hadn’t even realized he’d knelt. “You stay beside him until he is lowered to the dirt.”

He guides me to the bed, my legs wobbly, my eyes anywhere but on Jin, before Sor’en presses a soft kiss to my head. “You cannot avoid death, my mate. The goddesses will force your hand.”

I sit after that, my eyes on the still chilly hand as I grip it tightly in my own shaking, warm palms. I hold Jin’s hand, not to keep Sor’en away as he begins to prepare his body for burial, but because I don’t want to be the reason someone else I love gets lost. My eyes cross the room numbly until they reach another corner, the corner where Jin buried my pee flowers. I frown at the new flower budding there, one that hadn’t been there yesterday. It's small, just a bud, but it's bright, and it's there.

Sor’en pulls the flowers from the elderly male’s face before following my eyes. “Ah,” he chuckles, and I try not to be upset about his lack of distress. “He must’ve had Me’alma test her pregnancy.”

I stare at Sor’en.

“The same toxin that is excreted by younglings in the womb to prepare the mother's body is washed through her urine. It is an outdated way to check, but it makes for good theatrics. It is the only toxin known to make budlings glow that brightly.”

My head drifts back to the male on the bed, my expression blank as my hand drifts over the subtle swelling of my stomach.

My steps are lumbering, and my legs feel like they contain water where the bones should be as the sky opens up around us, pelting everyone in shimmering rain.

“It is a good omen, you know. To rain on the day of your passing. The goddesses have opened the skies for your friend,” Sor’en offers softly. “It means he was most cherished under their eyes.”

I glance up, closing my eyes as the rain pitter patters onto my face. Breathing through lungs filled with static. I stay like that for a moment before glancing behind us to the craft holding Jin’s body, now wrapped in that same veil-like material that seems to knit this world together. His flowers, which had turned out to be the ones I picked for Sor’en yesterday, are now blessed by me and laid back on his face outside the shroud.

“This is about your mother, her tooth on your neck.”

I head snaps to my mate. “I didn’t tell you about that.”

“You told Melion. I am within him as he is within me. It is the same thing.”

“I have not laid her to rest as I should’ve,” I whisper, but somehow he hears me all the same.

“Goodbye rarely looks the way we think it should. It does not change that they are gone.”

I glance over at him before turning my attention back to the hundreds of Xyreliths waiting in the fields, a location I chose close to our home. It seems that is where you shouldplantfamily, close to your dwelling. So they may nurture the soil closest to the ones they loved. Jin will go across from Sor’en’s mom and dad, a younger brother I hadn’t known he had, and the botanist before him.