Page 36 of When the Universe Sings

His gaze caught mine and slowly he lifted his hands, tugging off his gloves in careful, practiced movements and tucking them into the waistband of his trousers. That action appeared to eat up whatever he’d allowed me to see of his uncertainty, leaving only a blazing determination in its wake.

“I need to touch you.”

My stomach swooped and though I understood what he meant—at Lesephous’ estate and the gala he would have to touch me as he had before—in this moment it sounded more desperate. Like he was begging for permission to touch me right here and now. He took a step closer, blue and white light streaming across his face as we jumped quadrants, catching on the angle of his cheekbones, washing his dark hair with bright illumination.

“Will you let me touch you, Juniper?”

The low rumble slid down my spine and for some reason it made my hands shake. He was close enough now I could make out each line of his mask, each swipe of the silver markings down his face—the ancient Quinzyr tattoos all their people took at theage of seventeen before they put on the helmet at twenty-five, according to Kal.

My throat clicked with a dry swallow as I lowered my arms to my sides. I found myself nodding even as I questioned my body’s reaction and the way I suddenly struggled to remember why he shouldn’t touch me.

Captain Ruciyah…Asherlifted his hand, the backs riddled with deep blue scars from when he’d plunged them into the flames that had consumed Kal all those cycles ago. I didn’t move, didn’t breathe as he carefully tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. Fingertips traced the line of my jaw, down the curve of my neck. In its wake, it wasn’t fire or ice, but electricity—as if he was waking each nerve, eachcellin my body, changing it into something I couldn’t recognize.

Then, on cue, the memory of my people blasted through my senses, his command ringing through my ears. He’d saved some, but he’d killed others, would kill more. This was a betrayal, this heat pooling in my belly. I might as well have been laying a log at the pyre of my family to stoke the flames.

He stiffened, took a step away. “Do you know how to dance?”

Reeling back on my heels, I tried to keep up with his sudden change. All the heat leached away from his face, leaving behind the cold mask, so like his full helmet he might as well have been wearing it.

“I can’t say there have been many opportunities,” I answered dryly.

Asher pulled his gloves back on. “The Federation has a few standard dances they always put on for these sorts of events. The most common is themelunceur.”

My heart thrummed as his gloved hand slipped behind my neck. His index and thumb exerted the slightest bit of pressure on my nape, encouraging me to look up into his face rather thanat his chest. When I just stood there, he reached between us to drag my hand up to place around his neck as well.

He was tall enough that I was forced to stand up straighter. But when I went to steady myself with my other hand at his waist, he shook his head.

“Relax that arm to your side.” For all the softness in his voice, his face was still cold. “Ready?”

I shook my head. “There’s no music.”

Even though I couldn’t see his mouth, there was a slight curve to the right side of his cheek above the mask that made me think he’d grinned. But it was gone in another instant, swallowed by the cold.

“We don’t need music. All you need to do is follow me.”

CHAPTER

TWENTY-FIVE

Every daywe met in the viewing room to practice.

Sometimes it meant Asher pulling me from my reading in the supply closet, while at other times I would already be in the room watching the planets go by, curled up in a small nest of cushions and blankets that had appeared beside the window after the second time I’d set up there. Planets with hundreds of thousands of beings passed us by—beings with lives, with people they loved, withpurpose. I couldn’t help but wonder what it was like for those on planets we passed, like Quili: Class One planets that had never been swarmed by mercenaries and pirates. Planets where their inhabitants never worried about food shortages, or atmospheric breakdowns, or being dragged away from their homes by their hair.

Since that first day, Asher hadn’t tried to touch me again. I’d thought we would have at least practiced being comfortable with each other’s proximity outside of dancing, though I was the first to admit so many of the Federation’s dances involved us getting close. But whatever had come over him then seemed to have been nothing more than a passing moment. He was as cold and short with me as he had been before my run-in with Maxtalen.

Today he’d arrived in his full mask and I found my reflection within the black metal unnerving. He had also donned his cowl and cloak, as he had every day since he’d first brought me here, claiming he would wear something similar at the gala. But part of me wondered if it felt more like armor for him, if he somehow knew the war I fought with myself in his hold. His touch turnedmy stomach in strange ways and there were times, especially after a few days of learning the dances, where I struggled to decide if I wanted him to pull me closer or push me away.

Those thoughts were always followed by guilt and the reminder he was a venomous flower—his beauty drew me in. Just as it had done for all those I’d seen him charm before. I would not allow myself to fall victim to it next.

He held me just a bit too roughly now in the dance of themelunceurand I bit my cheek to stifle the noise of surprise I made when he turned me beneath his arm before drawing me back with a swiftness that was close to violence.

The room was silent, save for the humming of the engines, as it always was. I couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like dancing to music, if it would feel the way it had when I’d been on the silks. As time progressed and we moved from the slowmelunceurinto the slightly more energeticbesmagnat, the air was so thick with tension I found myself looking anywhere but at the reflection in his mask.

It was a relief when the door hissed open and Zoleka floated in with a large box in her arms, followed by a grimacing Kal. Asher dropped his arms and I moved a few paces back. The Haptium female raised a silver brow, looking between us, and I almost grimaced at how our skittering away from one another must have looked.

“A courier dropped something off for you and I admit I was far too curious to just leave this at your door.” She lowered her ear to the box and shook it a little, a twinkle in her eye.

From the mutinous look on Kal’s face, I assumed he’d tried to stop her from bringing it in. Until he reached out to take the box, his scowl deepening. “It needs to be inspected?—”