Page 35 of When the Universe Sings

CHAPTER

TWENTY-FOUR

“No.”

Captain Ruciyah growled in frustration at me while I settled further into my perch in the supply closet. Zoleka had given me a few texts in preparation for the stone we would be taking in less than a week and I preferred hiding away in here rather than in my room. There were three exits if you counted the vent above and I could hide within the shelves if I didn’t want to deal with anyone.

Right now, I wished I’d hidden before the captain had caught sight of me.

“We need to discuss our boundaries and limits before we go into this.” One of his gloved hands reached out and for a moment I thought he was going to touch me, but instead he settled it on the shelf beside my knee. His head dropped a fraction and he blew out a ragged breath that distorted through the respirator until it sounded like static. “After… After everything you’ve been through, I don’t want to do anything you don’t consent to. I went too far when we met with Lesephous and I don’t want to feel that way again.”

The leather of his glove squeaked against the metal as it slid away. He was missing his usual cowl and cloak, the simple shirt and pants he wore such a change from his usual outfit that if it hadn’t been for the respirator and his air of frustration, I might not have recognized him.

Except of course I would have. Because I saw him every night in my dreams. Most often they were the nightmares of my past—him gesturing toward the home tree with the command for us to die. But sometimes the dreams changed. Sometimes he knelt beside me in the bracken and scooped me into his arms. Sometimes he murmured to me that everything was going to be okay, that he would fix it all.

Stay still for me, j’ska mahsi.

And then the world around me would explode in fire before I woke up screaming.

“Juniper. Come down.” He stepped back and held out his hand. I stared at it for a long moment before I tucked my feet up into the shelf.

Another rumble of irritation filled the closet and I bit the inside of my cheek as I looked down at the book, idly flipping the page. He was right—we needed to discuss boundaries. I just didn’t want to make it easy for him. And these moments when I saw the predator beneath the shiny veneer he lacquered himself with for those dignitaries reminded me of why I was doing this.

No matter how many times Kal told me Captain Ruciyah was someone to be trusted, I knew the truth. It was clear that after years of traveling with the male, Kal would follow him into a black hole without hesitation. He hadn’t seen what I’d seen, hadn’t felt the bite of hands across his skin, the pang of starvation, and the desperation that came from being willing to die in order to be freed from the prison you were sold into.

As Captain Ruciyah turned to walk away, I closed the book and slid down from the shelf. Faster than I could blink he turned, eyes wide. I imagined behind the mask his mouth had popped open too. I waved my hand toward the door like he was holding us up, and it was an effort to keep the grin off my face this time when his eyes narrowed and he stomped out of the room. But his irritation only lasted a few strides before he slowed so I could catch up.

“Where would you be most comfortable?”

I almost started at the question. The corners of my lips turned down as I tried to figure out how to answer. I knew I didn’t want to be in his quarters or in mine, but I hesitated long enough that he led me down a corridor I hadn’t been through before, touching his palm to a shiny, silvery door.

“This is quiet enough no one will bother us, but anyone has access.”

It hissed open, the sound covering my surprised gasp. The far wall wasn’t metal, but a window exposing the wide expanse of space around us, as well as a hint of the planet we passed by. There were a few low couches and tables but I struggled to understand the room’s purpose.

When the glass pressed against my palm, I realized I’d gone straight to the window, enraptured by the view.

“I come here to think,” Captain Ruciyah offered.

I looked to find him hanging back, his hands clasped behind him, silver eyes fixed on me, but the sight outside was so breathtaking I couldn’t help but turn back to it. The dust clouds of the desert planet swirled up into the atmosphere before falling back to the surface, almost like it was breathing. The nearby suns cast the sand into glittering shadows and I wondered what it must have looked like from within the atmosphere itself.

“It’s beautiful,” I breathed.

A hum of agreement rumbled behind me. “One of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.”

I took one more moment to look out at the view, knowing in a few minutes we would jump to the next quadrant and the window would be a wash of bright blues and whites. Captain Ruciyah was closer now, though still far enough away I didn’t feel the need to press my back against the glass.

“When we get to Lesephous’ estate, it’s imperative we act our parts,” he began slowly, as if he was reminding himself more than me.

With a nod, I crossed my arms over my chest. He took a deep breath, staring at the ground between my feet. “Tell me what you’re okay with, Juniper.” I wondered if he wasn’t more terrified of this encounter than I was, from the way his hands shook until they fisted in his gloves. His request had a pleading note to it as if he was looking for an anchor within the chaos.

I wasn’t sure I could be that anchor for him. “I don’t know, Captain.”

Tell me what you’re thinking,I wanted to say.Tell me what makes you so afraid of me right now. And tell me why it is I can’t find it in me to revel in this fear.

“Asher… Call me Asher.”

I swallowed, nodding once.