Page 63 of The Breakup Bookshop

‘How exciting,’ Margaret breathes, grinning from ear to ear.

Is it, Margaret? I’m not so sure.

21

Ava!’ Elle calls to me at the end of the support group. She pulls me in with a warm hug as the group says goodbye and starts filing out into the street. ‘It’s so lovely to see you again! I can’t believe you’re back in Ullapool. You’ve done such an amazing job transforming this place. Is it weird for me to say I’m proud of you?’

God, she’s so nice. And she smells delicious, too, as I inhale a waft of her expensive perfume.

‘Not weird. And thank you. Ah, Elle, it’s so good to see you too! I didn’t see your name on the list, so I didn’t know you were coming. What a lovely surprise.’

‘Oh, sorry, Donna said I should pop in if I made it back in time. I hope I didn’t put your numbers out.’

‘Not at all,’ I say with a wave of my hand, regretting that I even brought up the list. I didn’t mean to accuse her of gatecrashing.

‘

‘I’ve got to dash just now, but we should catch up properly while I’m home over the next few weeks,’ Elle suggests, and I nod. ‘Get a dinner date or something. You, me and Donna, just like old times.’

‘I’d love that.’

It would be lovely to catch up. But I just don’t know how to feel about all of this. Elle trying to get Rory back, while I’m trying to forget how good his kisses are.

‘After the wedding,’ she promises, leaning in for a quick hug. ‘See you soon. And wish me luck!’

Elle waves goodbye again and strolls out of the bookshop. She peeks into The Toolbox next door on her way past, even though it’s closed and Rory’s not there. He told me he would be building furniture tonight as a favour to one of his regulars.

As Margaret shuffles out with her stick, I look around for Donna. Surely she hasn’t left without saying goodbye? I wander out to the courtyard, where she’s standing, holding a mug of tea, staring up into the sky. She doesn’t turn around and grin at me like she usually would. Instead, she remains still, watching the clouds in the evening sky. I want to leap in and ask her about Rory and Elle but sense that it’s not the time for that.

‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Of course. Anything.’

‘Before you and Seb finished… Say the cheating hadn’t happened. What was next for you guys?’

I sigh, pulling my cardigan around me. ‘We talked about getting married then starting a family. I’d already started to think about nursery places. Apparently you have to practically register the day you conceive to land a space at a decent London nursery.’

‘And how do you feel now… now that’s not happened? The family part?’

‘Sad, sometimes. Relieved, mostly. Imagine I’d found out he cheated on me when I was pregnant or had his child? Look at Eilidh. She’s handling everything so well, but I can’t imagine how hard it must be for her.’

Donna nods slowly. ‘I know. She’s amazing.’

‘Is this about you and Finlay? Has something happened?’

She shakes her head. ‘No, it’s not Finlay. Look, I’ve got to get going. Thanks for tonight.’

She doesn’t reach for her usual cheery hug. Instead, she walks straight to the back of the courtyard, opens the door and closes it behind her.

22

Ican’t find the words to mention Elle’s bookshop revelation to Rory.

Days fly past as we go back and forth between our shops, share coffees and sneaky kisses. We’re like the two teens we chased away by the bins. Someone always seems to be about to catch us in the act, whether it’s Margaret passing by with her trusty stick, a customer looking for recommendations for a good memoir or someone asking when the next breakup bookshop is going to be held, but it only seems to spur us on. I don’t want to burst our happy bubble with concerns about Elle and something that might not even happen.

It doesn’t stop the nagging doubts, though. As soon as Rory leaves to serve a customer or drops me home after an evening walk, the thoughts start to swirl around my head. Maybe it is a mistake to be even thinking about being romantically involved with anyone right now. I’m not sure I’m over the whole Seb and Macy thing yet. How on earth am I meant to think about a future? And what’s the point if Rory is just going to bugger off back to Elle, the love of his life he’s pined for since he was a child, and leave me in the lurch again?

Ah, yes. There it is. That’s the problem. Who needs therapy? I’ve worked it out all by myself. I’m starting to develop feelings for the gorgeous DIY guy next door, who kisses me like I’ve never been kissed, and I’m scared it will go wrong, like it did the last time. Give me a psychology degree and be done with it.