Page 47 of The Breakup Bookshop

‘Noisy,’ he says. ‘But that’s what I was used to, so I didn’t think much of it when I was growing up. I was the one who always talked about travelling and now everyone else is doing it.’

‘You miss them?’ I ask. ‘Or you’re jealous?’

He nods, scratching his chin. ‘Ach, a bit of both, I suppose. I went from a family of ten to just me in the space of a couple of years. It’s been too quiet since they all buggered off. I hate the silence.’

‘I grew up in silence,’ I confess. ‘I would have loved to have a big, bustling family growing up. I always wanted siblings, but Mum and Dad were ‘one and done’. I’m not even sure they really wanted me, if I’m honest. My granny was different, though. She loved having me around. She wasn’t married when she had my dad. I think it was a bit of a scandal for a while. Dad couldn’t wait to leave Ullapool. He was out of here as soon as he turned sixteen.’

‘No wonder your granny wanted you around, if your dad left when he was so young. She would have been delighted with your company and how you’ve turned out. Your parents must be too.’

I shrug. ‘Nope. My parents wanted me to follow in their footsteps and work in finance. I was a disappointment for choosing marketing. They’re horrified that I’m here right now. They think I’m ruining my life.’

‘Starting your own business and buying your own flat? Yeah, you’re pure trash. There’s no coming back from that,’ he says with a grin.

‘I know, it’s just not the way they do things. They wanted me to get married and settle down in London and I was on the cusp of it. When it fell apart, Mum was more devastated than I was.’

‘You were about to get married?’

‘Well, he hadn’t asked me, but yes, it was on the cards.’

I don’t know why I’m talking about Seb again to Rory. I wish I could keep my mouth shut.

‘What would you have done with the shop? If you’d got it,’ I say.

‘I was going to make it into a studio and gallery to exhibit my stuff and work by local artists,’ he admits. ‘I thought I could paint there when my parents took over The Toolbox again.’

‘I’m sorry I stamped all over your dream.’

‘It just wasn’t meant to be.’

‘I’m still sorry.’

We sit in silence, staring out to sea, until Rory offers me a chocolate biscuit from his stash. The American tourists appear and start to chat with him, so I make my way up to the deck to look at the view. The captain offers the three young boys the chance to steer the boat and they squeal in delight.

I watch the boys jumping up and down with excitement. Seb and I had talked about having children. He wanted one child, but I wanted two. At least. Only children are lonely; I know that better than anyone. Just nine months ago, ironically, Seb asked how long we should wait to have a child. How had everything changed so drastically in such a short period of time?

Macy never wanted children. She always said it would be too much responsibility for her. I wonder if she’s told Seb. Maybe it’s not even an issue. Maybe Seb loves her so much he doesn’t care.

I shiver, and not just because it is freezing. I can’t think about them any more. As I check my phone, I realize the tour will soon end. Two hours have passed by in a flash.

‘Ava!’ Rory comes pounding up the stairs to the top desk, where I’m sitting alone. ‘Look!’

I frown as the wind whips my hair around my face. ‘What is it? I can’t see anything.’

He stands behind me and leans close so his head is just above my shoulder, his breath tickling my ear, as he points out to sea. I follow his finger, ignoring the strange somersaults my stomach is doing at his sudden touch.

‘Dolphins!’ I gasp, as he smiles widely.

‘You see them?’

I grab my phone to capture them. I yelp in delight as the dolphins leap out of the water, sending huge splashes curling into the air around them.

‘I see them!’

It is the most magnificent display I’ve ever witnessed. The dolphins are so close that I feel like I can reach out and touch them. It is awe-inspiring. Tears spring into my eyes. Forget Seb. Forget Macy. This is why I came back to Ullapool. This ismagical. The surprise of new experiences is cushioned by the memories and sense of belonging that stem from my summers here. As I watch the dolphins surge in and out of the vast expanse of water, I feel grateful for the time spent here.

I glance up at Rory, my mouth wide open. ‘It’s amazing.’

He nods. ‘It is.’